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Author Topic: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction  (Read 11569 times)

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dan1dad

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #30 on: May 04, 2009, 04:55:09 PM »
See thats the really strange thing here. Since the divorce in 2003, both of us has always given any details and received the permission from the other to whether travel , even within the state of Missouri.  To date she has never ask to travel outside of Missouri at all and has always demanded that I give her all details of any trips to my parents in southern illinois about 3 hours way.  There has never been any problem with this arrangment, until now. She is very secretive about this and refusing to , what she calls, " comply with you demands"  of wanting to know phone numbers of where they would stay.  This is why i dont think she is doing what she now says she is.  Why suddenly at the last moment bring up Disney world. Why refuse any details , not even travel route or method.  She just wants me to agree to give her 4 extra days with the girls so she can travel with them.  No other info. That would give her 6 days , and if she gets her way, Id have no contact info, or contact with them, or know just where they are going or anything.  That is completely contradictive to everything she demands from me, and everything that we had agreed to.

And you are right, She is a bully, a liar, and a manipulator.. She will even call the school every week on the days i take the girls to school to see if I had them there at least 20 minutes early.  She considers them late unless they are early. If I didnt, she is on the phone on emailing me all about it.  But of course she drops them off whenever she wants, and that is different.  Even this school was part of her manipulation.  We had agreed on what school for them to go to, it was only 5 minutes from both our homes.  She ask me to sign the application first and she would sign them before turing them into the school.  3 months later I find out she had changed the school to another one that is across the city, but closer to where she works.  She did it for 2 reasons. It was convient for her, and very inconvienent for me.   She has also changed custody days by demanding that she wants it that way. she knows i cant take her to court , so she pretty much does what she wants. And up to a point I just take it and deal with it, because i cant take her to court.  I hope it will all add up for the day I can take her to court.  But when it comes to removing my daughters from my life, I cant stand by and take that.  That is just going to far.   I wish there was a way to get everything heard at once, but from what I understood today, an emergency hearing is only for the immediate emergency at hand. Everything is will have to wait until i can afford a good attorney.  And I dont want to take the girls away from their mom. I just want it to be more equal and take some control from her.  Even my daughter want that, and I think that is a big motivator in her actions. My X is the type that wants the world to revovle around her, and when my daughters cry and beg to stay with me everytime I drop them off, and because they wait for me to pick them up with great excitment, my X  gets upset.  


Quote from: gail;20488
I would call an attorney and ask their advice.  They might know of an attorney that will do this for you or give you other advice.  I had to put mine on a credit card.  If you have joint legal custody she cannot take those children out of state without your permission and if she gets that she has to give you phone numbers of hotels or wherever they are staying.  You might want to remind her that she can't kidnap your children and that you will take her to court.  If she really wanted to go on vacation she should tell you where and when and not lie.  Maybe you should remind her that Australia is a signatory of the Hague and they will send the children right back and she will lose all custody.  It's terrible to have to argue, it's best to have an attorney.

Offline tweinstein

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #31 on: May 04, 2009, 05:19:54 PM »
Quote from: gail;20494
Just do what the attorney at the court told you to do.  They will walk you through it, they helped me as well.  And don't make yourself sick with worry :)
Every minute that you're spending telling us how bad your children's mother is, you are not spending on preventing her from carrying out her plan. You're preaching to the choir. :pope:

Follow Gail's advice and write us AFTER you have taken action.

Offline buckeye

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #32 on: May 04, 2009, 05:34:29 PM »
Quote from: tweinstein;20502
Every minute that you're spending telling us how bad your children's mother is, you are not spending on preventing her from carrying out her plan. You're preaching to the choir. :pope:
 
Follow Gail's advice and write us AFTER you have taken action.

 
:yeahthat:No kidding, you need to take action, NOW....  Good luck.

dan1dad

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #33 on: May 05, 2009, 05:43:36 PM »
called the courts today,  the judge and clerks were busy, but Im suppose to call them back tomorrow.

dan1dad

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #34 on: May 05, 2009, 05:44:56 PM »
Quote from: buckeye;20503
:yeahthat:No kidding, you need to take action, NOW....  Good luck.


What am I trying to do?   Ive been contacting everyone and anyone I can to find out what to do.   I update here after there is no further action to take during the day. Most people who might be able to help me are not available in the late afternoon and evenings.

Offline sue

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #35 on: May 05, 2009, 06:40:45 PM »
Are you able to go down to the court and have one of the clerks there help you through what you need to do?  Because you need to go down there and file papers yourself, you can't do it over the phone.  Go down, wait in line, and do what they tell you to do.  They will have someone there to walk you through it, but you have to go down there.

Offline DaveShu

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #36 on: June 10, 2009, 05:13:15 PM »
Hi, First off let me say that I understand what you are going theough.  However, you do have options and you need to start preparing for them.  I was married to an Australian and we were living here in the USA.  Two years ago, my wife abducted both, my young daughter and step son and took them to Australia.
 
For the first few months, I didn't know that I had options that could bring my children home.  My first option was to press charges against her for International Parental kidnapping.  Since, I didn't want to see my children's mother in prison, I chose my other option.  This involved working with the US Dept of State, Office of Children's Issues.
 
It was with their assistance that I was able to lodge an application with the International Hague Convention Courts seeking an Order of Return.  Australia is a signatory party to the Hague and is a partner with the USA for this.  By going this route, you must understand that Australia does not have enough Judges or funding to hear cases as quickly as you may wish.  Further, it does not cost you anything in terms of lawyer fees.  The Australian Central Authority will represent you for free.
 
That being said, my case took about 14 months to resolve and an additional 3 months because of my ex wife's appeal.  Final orders were made and she was forced to return to the USA.  We are waiting to go to Family Courts to see who gets custody.  It looks very strong that I will since, she did kidnap my children and is a flight risk  The sad part of this is, that Australia will place certain financial undertakings on you before they enforce their orders.
 
The first is, you will be responsible for paying for all of theri airline tickets.  However, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children due have funds available from the Justice Dept to cover the cost of your children but, not for your ex wife.  Next, they will ask that you provide your ex wife with suitable lodging for X amount of time.  This could be anything from 2-3 weeks to 2-3 months.  Also, they may request that you provide financial support, as well.
 
If you really feel that your ex wife may abduct your daughters then, you need to starting preparing for it now.  The first thing that you need to do is contact the US Dept of State and speak with the case worker who handles that part of the world.  Next, contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.  Explore both of the earlier options and see which one you feel most comfortable with.
 
You should also, start getting all of the contact information for anyone that your ex wife knows in Australia with phone numbers and addresses.  Start documenting anything and everthing that you can in regards to telephone conversation with your wife, children and anyone else involved.  Start writing a daily journal with everything that transpires with your ex wife.  Try to communicate as often as you can with your ex wife via email and save every letter that you write to her and her responses to you.  Be very careful in your emails to her or she could wind up using them against you.
 
There are no exit controls for leaving the USA so, the moment that you suspect that she has abducted the children, act fast.
 
Hope this helps and good luck!

Offline tweinstein

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #37 on: June 12, 2009, 02:04:05 PM »
Quote
you must understand that Australia does not have enough Judges or funding to hear cases as quickly as you may wish.

Australia makes Brazil and Mexico look like a paradise. If it only took 17 months (including the appeal) for successful return under the Hague Convention, I would have had my children back 1 1/2 years ago!

Offline sue

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #38 on: June 13, 2009, 10:48:28 AM »
Has anyone heard from dan1dad?  I wonder if he was able to stop her from leaving the country with his kids.

Offline Teena

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #39 on: June 13, 2009, 12:00:11 PM »
I have not. I wonder the same thing myself.
Teena Duffy
Moderator
BringSeanHome.org


Offline wicasa

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #41 on: March 01, 2022, 02:21:32 AM »
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Offline wicasa

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #42 on: April 01, 2022, 03:43:35 PM »

Offline wicasa

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #43 on: April 01, 2022, 03:44:42 PM »

Offline wicasa

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Re: need some quick, valid advice on possible abduction
« Reply #44 on: April 01, 2022, 03:45:49 PM »