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Author Topic: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style  (Read 88887 times)

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Offline TrinaAtwell

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #180 on: January 19, 2011, 05:32:03 PM »
Funny how a person that can rip away a child from everything it has EVER know since birth, then is snatched to a foreign country forced to learn a language and heritage that has nothing to do with how she is or may become.  Soon we all know she will be home to the "real" family that loves with hugs, love, friendship, & lifelong memories...   Please shine the light on how horrible of a person I am, since I'm sure BSHF hasn't been helping "hoping" I'm at least "close" to be half way decent... Think about this week being the last week... my parents will be here Friday Night.... fly in too. it would be really good

Emily was not even 7 months old when she and I came to Costa Rica. This means that all she knew was the food she ate (which she was breastfed), and the one that always cared for her, me. 

You do not force a child to speak a language.  Emily simply chooses to speak Spanish over English most of the time.  Costa Rica is a Spanish speaking country. 

As far as her real family, Emily only knows her family to be whom she recieves  hugs, love, friendship, & lifelong memories with currently.  These are just facts, any child phycologist will confirm such things.

I appreciate the posts that have come, even from those that do not agree with the choices that I have made.  Thank you all the same for taking the time to read my post.

The last thing I expected was to receive support on this forum.  I do see that Roy Koyama remains the same.  I pray for you Roy that you will truly look at what your motives are, I have. The best interest of my daughter.

I will continue to work with my attorneys and other means of legal assistance to get this matter resolved. 

Offline sue

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #181 on: January 19, 2011, 05:51:51 PM »
  Talk with Karl and maybe he can help resolve this piecefully, fighting on here will not help in any way. 

Offline SageDad

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #182 on: January 19, 2011, 06:30:26 PM »

Emily was not even 7 months old when she and I came to Costa Rica. This means that all she knew was the food she ate (which she was breastfed), and the one that always cared for her, me. 

You do not force a child to speak a language.  Emily simply chooses to speak Spanish over English most of the time.  Costa Rica is a Spanish speaking country. 

As far as her real family, Emily only knows her family to be whom she recieves  hugs, love, friendship, & lifelong memories with currently.  These are just facts, any child phycologist will confirm such things.

I appreciate the posts that have come, even from those that do not agree with the choices that I have made.  Thank you all the same for taking the time to read my post.

The last thing I expected was to receive support on this forum.  I do see that Roy Koyama remains the same.  I pray for you Roy that you will truly look at what your motives are, I have. The best interest of my daughter.

I will continue to work with my attorneys and other means of legal assistance to get this matter resolved. 

I wouldn't go so far as to say you are receiving support here so much as a lack of hypocrisy by the genuinely good people that fill these forums.  Supporting Roy and Emily's rights to having a meaningful relationship would be pretty one-sided if we didn't also support yours and Emily's rights to the same.

My advice to you is to contact the District Attorney, the US Embassy and/or the Office of Children's Issues in the US Dept. of State.  I expect you can arrange for any criminal charges that actually exist to be dropped if you return voluntarily.  There are plenty of precedents of exactly such arrangements being made.

In spite of the fact that you bear the brunt of the responsibility for the situation you find yourself in, I am not without sympathy for you.  I truly believe most child abductors eventually regret their decisions but, like Humpty Dumpty, once trust has been destroyed there's no easy way of undoing what's been done.  You are scared of losing your daughter and going to jail.  I would be too.  It's only natural.

For yours and Emily's sake I hope you can both return and put all of this behind you and work with Roy on raising your daughter with the love of her whole real family. 

For the sake of all the other children and parents that will suffer the life altering (if not destroying) tragedy of a child abduction, I hope you will be criminally convicted, not to punish you -- I suspect you have learned from your mistakes, but as a deterrent to all the other parents who consider treating children as personal property and violating a broad range of theirs and their family's rights by internationally abducting them.

Best of luck to you, yours and Emily's family.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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Offline Bree

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #183 on: January 19, 2011, 07:22:26 PM »
(snipped)
You do not force a child to speak a language.  Emily simply chooses to speak Spanish over English most of the time.  Costa Rica is a Spanish speaking country. 
As far as her real family, Emily only knows her family to be whom she recieves  hugs, love, friendship, & lifelong memories with currently.  These are just facts, any child phycologist will confirm such things.

No one, but you, forced Emily to grow up in Costa Rica.  At some point, Trina, you have to accept some responsibility for things being the way they are.  I understand fleeing for protection; I have a friend that did so and I support her.

I also know that at 2 years old, a child doesn't particularly "speak” anything.  She may know some of the Spanish language, but it is up to you (as her mother) to make sure she knows her native tongue. 

As far as her “real family”….Roy is her “real family”.  You took it upon yourself to take that right away from him.  He has rights as her father, just as you do as her mother.  Being a parent is not a one-way street.  Do the right thing and let him be her father!  I’m sure Roy would love to give her hugs, and love and friendship and lifelong memories just as you have allowed your family to do.  I’m pretty sure those are FACTS as well.  Whether Emily was 7 months, or 17 months, when you fled, you made the decision for her to be parented by your family and your family alone.  I don’t believe any child psychologist would state that was in her best interest. 

Contact the proper authorities and make arrangements to come home.  I’m sure something can be worked out.  Put Emily first and not yourself. 
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman

Offline rduffiel

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #184 on: January 19, 2011, 07:36:58 PM »
Quote

Sound advice.  I hope that you listen to it.
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline liesl78

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #185 on: January 19, 2011, 10:57:10 PM »

No one, but you, forced Emily to grow up in Costa Rica.  At some point, Trina, you have to accept some responsibility for things being the way they are.  I understand fleeing for protection; I have a friend that did so and I support her.

I also know that at 2 years old, a child doesn't particularly "speak” anything.  She may know some of the Spanish language, but it is up to you (as her mother) to make sure she knows her native tongue. 

As far as her “real family”….Roy is her “real family”.  You took it upon yourself to take that right away from him.  He has rights as her father, just as you do as her mother.  Being a parent is not a one-way street.  Do the right thing and let him be her father!  I’m sure Roy would love to give her hugs, and love and friendship and lifelong memories just as you have allowed your family to do.  I’m pretty sure those are FACTS as well.  Whether Emily was 7 months, or 17 months, when you fled, you made the decision for her to be parented by your family and your family alone.  I don’t believe any child psychologist would state that was in her best interest. 

Contact the proper authorities and make arrangements to come home.  I’m sure something can be worked out.  Put Emily first and not yourself. 


 :yeahthat
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Offline lttlmtn

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #186 on: January 24, 2011, 02:40:24 PM »

Offline lttlmtn

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #187 on: January 25, 2011, 08:08:23 PM »
Here's an article tK seems to have something to do with her I guess?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-dawson/parental-alienation-and-d_b_811738.html

"I hope there's more cases just like this, where people don't want to let their spouses see their kids...I hope it happens more and more, until the law finally says you know what? There needs to be something done so these parents can be with their kids."

These were the words fired by Randall Todd Moore as he denied having "not one ounce of remorse" for kidnapping, sexually assaulting and killing his ex-wife.

But was his ex-wife 'alienating' the kids, as Moore alleged, or trying to protect them from danger?

This case is clear, but as those working in domestic violence and child abuse realize, all too often clarity comes at a price.

Parental alienation (PA, or PAS for Parental Alienation Syndrome), a topic pro-PA psychologist Richard Warshak recently covered on Huffington Post, alleges a parent poisons the mind of a child to fear or hate the other parent. The defamation results in a damaged relationship or estrangement.

Those opposing parental alienation admit parents can bad-mouth the other parent either deliberately or inadvertently; however, factors such as poor parenting skills or personality on the part of the mother or father and stages of normal development or reactions to divorce on the part of the child can also cause alienating behaviors.

Dr. Paul Fink, President of the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, and a former President of the American Psychiatric Association states, "Science tells us that the most likely reason that a child becomes estranged from a parent is that parent's own behavior. Labels, such as PAS, serve to deflect attention away from those behaviors."

More dangerously, parental alienation can mask domestic violence, child abuse and child sexual abuse. What is the difference between fearful or uncooperative battered women and alienating," vindictive" mothers? If parents try to withhold access to children, are they alienators or protectors? If they try to provide evidence of abuse - interviews with psychologists, medical examinations or discussions with the child - are they gathering proof or further alienating the ex? What is the difference between alienated children and abused children?

The behaviors can be indistinguishable.

Indeed, it's not just domestic violence survivors' advocates who witness the problem with PA. The American Bar Association, American Prosecutors Research Institute, National District Attorneys Association, and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges all denounce the use of parental alienation in the courtroom. The National District Attorneys Association says on their Web site, "PAS is an unproven theory that can threaten the integrity of the criminal justice system and the safety of abused children."

That hasn't stopped courts from using PAS, resulting in accusations against individuals, mostly women, of maliciously denying access to children.

Katie Tagle, for instance, sought a restraining order on Jan. 21, 2010 against her ex-boyfriend Stephen Garcia to stop him from having unsupervised visitation with their nine-month-old child.

She told the judge Garcia threatened to kill the infant. The court transcript records Judge Robert Lemkau as saying, "One of you is lying," and later, "Mr. Garcia claims its total fabrication on your part." Garcia also referred to it as "little stunts and games" that she used to deny him access to his son.

Even when she tries to produce evidence of the threats, he says, "Well, ma'am, there's a real dispute about whether that's even true or not." And finally, "My suspicion is that you're lying" (said twice). He denied her the order (as did two other judges). Garcia took their son that day and drove off into the mountains. Ten days later, they were both found dead.

The transcript is here: tagle-garcia court transcript dent protection to baby- now bay is DEAD

This case clearly demonstrates another issue women have in courts: credibility. It's easier to believe a woman is lying than to believe a man can abuse or kill a woman or child. In reality, in family court, denying abuse is more common than fabricating tales of abuse. Most allegations are made in good faith (see the American Bar Association's 10 Custody Myths and How to Counter Them). And most denials are made by perpetrators, perpetrators skillful at manipulation - even of professionals.

Indeed, we must not forget family court is the place for couples with high conflict and abuse. The overwhelming majority (up to 90%) of couples create their own parenting plans. Those that cannot, go to family court.

Judges, though, have been known to downplay even well-documented cases of abuse and to give more weight to parental alienation than to abuse allegations. In the case of Jennifer Collins, for example, the judge told her mother to "get over" the abuse as at least two years had passed, according to Collins' Web site. The judge reversed the custody decision because her mom's fear was "interfering in his relationship with us." Jennifer's mother Holly took her two children and fled to the Netherlands, where they were granted asylum. (See also the Courageous Kids Network of children who were court-ordered into relationships with abusive parents.)

58,000 children a year go into sole or joint custody arrangements or unsupervised visitation with physically or sexually abusive parents, according to an estimate by the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence. That's over 1,000 children a week the courts place in harm's way.

Giving custody to the supposedly alienated parent is one way to "solve" the problem of parental alienation. Jailing the mother is another.

Tiffany Barney and Joyce Murphy are two women who've been jailed; their cases were covered in the media. Both alleged child sexual abuse and neither were believed. Barney fought for five years, at times losing custody or having limited supervised visitation. Murphy was called "toxic" to her daughter and deemed the cause of the child fearing her father. She fled with her daughter. When found, she was jailed for felony abduction and later granted limited visitation. It wasn't until three more girls came forward with molestation charges that her ex was finally the one jailed.

A few other cases making headlines include: Court Punishes Woman in Alienation Case; WI: Judge Jails Mother over Daughter's Refusal to Visit Father and Judge Dismisses Abuse Allegations.

To sum it up, any behavior that does not promote access to children can be classified as parental alienation and punished with jail time or limits on/loss of custody. With this threat, parents are less likely to report abuse and more likely to share custody with an abuser.

It should also be noted that when violent partners make good on their threats to take the kids away, it's referred to as domestic violence by proxy -a continuation of domestic violence - rather than PA or PAS. Some battered women who've lost custody use PA or PAS to describe their particular situation. This both minimizes the nature and scope of abuse women face and promotes the use of a dangerous weapon (PA/PAS) that can be used against them in court.

I wouldn't hand an angry man a agun, nor would I readily hand over a legal strategy to potential pedophiles, abusers or killers. Yet that is exactly what PA/PAS is doing.

For more information, visit:

The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence

Stop Family Violence

Center for Judicial Excellence

Offline forthelost

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #188 on: January 25, 2011, 08:40:37 PM »
No one bother to comment on that article - Huffington Post has a very draconian moderation policy and less than half the things I said on it didn't make it past moderation. (Although I still did better than Carlos; he only had one approved out of many.)

Offline SageDad

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #189 on: January 26, 2011, 03:32:48 AM »
No one bother to comment on that article - Huffington Post has a very draconian moderation policy and less than half the things I said on it didn't make it past moderation. (Although I still did better than Carlos; he only had one approved out of many.)

They went back and deleted the only post that got through for good measure.  Payback for me leaving a comment about their biased moderation no doubt (it wasn't published either :)  .)  Have lost all respect, what little I had, for the Huffington Post after having all my comments deleted and reading about lots of others getting their comments deleted or being banned for having the audacity to disagree with who knows what. 
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Offline UD_student

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #190 on: January 26, 2011, 11:45:55 AM »
That article is ridiculously biased and no wonder they need a draconian comment moderation policy to prevent anyone from actually pointing out that indeed, the sky is blue and not black or some other color that they are claiming. I am not an expert on domestic abuse, but the idea that all judges think women lie about anything and everything and never agree with abuse claims is absurd. If that was true, then there would be more children of divorce with fathers as primary custodians than mothers. I think most people know that it isn't more common for fathers to get primary custody or even joint custody after a divorce unless both parties agreed to it before talking to a judge.

Offline forthelost

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #191 on: January 26, 2011, 02:29:04 PM »
UD student, I think most research has indicated that 2 percent of all divorce cases involve accusations of abuse, and fifty percent are substantiated. That's a lower rate than for cases overall, but it doesn't appear to be the case that abuse accusations are ignored.

And of course, everyone's favorite parental kidnapper showed up in the comments and was allowed to bash Carlos, but he wasn't allowed to defend himself.  :rolleyes:

Offline UD_student

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #192 on: January 26, 2011, 08:33:46 PM »
UD student, I think most research has indicated that 2 percent of all divorce cases involve accusations of abuse, and fifty percent are substantiated. That's a lower rate than for cases overall, but it doesn't appear to be the case that abuse accusations are ignored.

Thanks for that information. It's interesting to know. When I was growing up, a kid's mom faked abuse claims during her divorce hearings (and then ceased seeing her children once the divorce was finalized). It is an interesting contrast between someone else I know who has a TRO on her ex and the ex can only have supervised visitation with their kid. That article appears to like to present one side of the story as if it is the only side, which is way too common in parental abduction cases in the foreign media.

Offline KarlHindle

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #193 on: February 08, 2011, 08:42:02 PM »
Trina and her sister, Lynette Garet are whipping up Costa Rican emotions with a claim that Roy has tried to get a court injunction stopping Trina from seeing Emily who is languishing in foster care on Day 8

THIS IS A 100% LIE - Roy has made no such filing or request.

http://emilyrosehindle.blogspot.com/2011/02/emily-koyama-update-on-costa-rican.html

Trina's supporters ought to know the truth and her efforts to game the system should be shown for what they are - playing the Costa Ricans for all she is worth with the "I'm just a poor mom" act.

Other than that there is no news.
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Offline lttlmtn

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Re: Kidnapping American Children - Costa Rican Style
« Reply #194 on: March 15, 2011, 09:32:28 PM »
Found out through the DOS and US Embassy today that the kidnapper is refusing any type of well being check on my daughter, even in a mutual meeting place she said "no" to allowing the authorities to see if she is safe and healthy... anyone care to comment?