Ex-Marine's daughter abducted to Bahrain

[Marinewife]

Is there?

The really funny thing about how some are trying to phrase this as an us-versus-them thing is that parental kidnapping is just about the most universal crime I know. I can't think of a single race, religion, or ethnicity that I haven't seen in any case.

Is there what? Is there really no time limits that Hannah can be taken out of the country? Yes, according to the custody agreement, there are no time limits.

[Grace]

"I have been through hell and back trying to do what's best for my daughter. I just wonder if it's ever going to come to end and we will be allowed to live in peace."
 
I am sorry you went through all these problems, and it is a shame when a man and a woman cannot agree peacefully about how to handle things. However, you seem to indicate through this sentence that you think the best for your daughter is to stay with you only and be far away from her father. That is the problem here.
 
Whatever happened in the past, the problem is that you are holding your daughter illegally in Bahrein. If you live in fear, it is because you know you are doing something wrong. It is better to go back to Cali and get thing sorted out in the family courts.
 
And Marinewife, what I said is not absurd. If you move to another country and have a child there, you cannot run away with that child until that child is of 18 years of age, period. Or unless the other parent authorizes your permanent move and does not wish to be near his/her child/children. There are some cases like that. But whenever you remove a child from the country where the you, the chld and the other parent lives without that parent's consent it is child abduction. Sorry, but people need to think before they have children with a foreign person. Your child is not your favorite guitar that you can grab and take off when you get fed up with a place or want better opportunities.

[hannahsmum]

Are you in contact with your ex at all?

Carlos,

I have attempted to contact him and discuss the situation but any time I have called he refuses to talk and hangs up the phone on me. He blocked my email account, facebook.. basically from any kind of contact.

[Candida]

I was not stating that to say that he should get custody of Hannah, like I said if you have proof of the abuse, then use it in the appropriate venue - which is the court. Not here. At the present time, you have disobeyed the law by over staying your permission. Since your relationship with your ex is beyond mediation, it's best to leave it to the court of law. If you prefer not to follow the court of New Jersey, you can always come back to California and file your appeal here. I am not taking sides here - I am not a left behind parent - just a supporter of the cause. I believe in justice which is why I believe that these cases should be decided in the court of where the child had habitual residence and in your case, the San Bernardino County.

[Grace]

Abuse is very serious, and I am not saying it hasn't happened in your case. Unfortunately, it is an all too common weapon that parental child abductors use. In his pictures with his daughter, he seems like a very good parent. Sometimes men and women can be "emotionally abusive", or resentful towards their spouse but a very loving parent. And detrimental abuse to a child could be verified by social workers.
It is not up to you to decide that is better for your daughter to be away from him. Actually, you did mention he came 2 times instead of 4 times visit your daughter, which means you don't seem to mind that they are together.
 
As with Bruna in the David Goldman's case, many women often forget their rights and make hasty decisions based on ignorance of the law.

[Marinewife]

Deana never said Mr. Walding was abusive to Hannah, just to her.

[siajeannie]

Once again, get your facts right an do your research before you pass judgement..
The flight school IS in fact in the United States.

I'm sure my ex just forgot to mention that though.

Hi!

I am interested in what you have to say, Deanna. Mainly because I do not usually quickly jump to conclusions in complex issues such as this. You come across as more genuine than your husband, however. So I want to thank you for posting/being here.

My gut feeling tells me there is something not quite right about your husband's story (although this does not mean a thing since I'm not qualified to judge him). At the same time, it is hard to ignore that you did something wrong, very wrong, by overstaying your visit at your home country. Even if, as you claim, the father only visited the daughter twice a year once, it is still his right to see or not to see her, isn't it? At least, by law, I think it is. Living in a foreign country (so far from the US) like yours, does not make it any easier for that to happen and both your daughter and your husband ought to have that opportunity!

I am sorry that this seems unfair and it will make you lose great opportunities back in your country. I am an immigrant and I can feel your pain. I am sure you are a strong person for going back to school here after the divorce and for fighting on your own while living in a foreign country -- that is, America. But that's what happens when you get married and have kids with a foreigner. It is always your child first, you second. And, your husband, should also know that. In this case, he is really third for he is no longer the primary caregiver for reasons already decided in US courts.

Please consider your decision carefully and return the US ASAP, despite at all. It is the right thing to do and you will have the support of everyone here, I am sure. We are on the good side.

Do not feel threatened by some of the members/organizers here but David Goldman's experience was quite different and more traumatic as the mother never really cared about her son's interest; only her own. This does not seem to be the case with you, so please do not let it be your case either.

Best wishes and welcome to the group!

[sue]

Kidnapping your child is not the answer.  You need to go back and go through the proper channels.  Your child deserves to have her father in her life, no matter what you feel about each other....you are only hurting your daughter.

[Sashia]

Hannahasmum,
I'm with saiJeannie,
It seems there is more to this case than meets the eye. As someone else said, the "proof" needs to be directed to the proper authorithies. I can tell that you are afraid to trust the legal system, as we know how well it can be manipulated, both here and in other countries. The legal system is the best place to iron this out. Having a good lawyer that can put the pieces together and present them to the judge would be your best avenue. Good Luck.

[lovellboys]

Hannahasmum,
I'm with saiJeannie,
It seems there is more to this case than meets the eye. As someone else said, the "proof" needs to be directed to the proper authorithies. I can tell that you are afraid to trust the legal system, as we know how well it can be manipulated, both here and in other countries. The legal system is the best place to iron this out. Having a good lawyer that can put the pieces together and present them to the judge would be your best avenue. Good Luck.

The bottom line is that she and her daughter need to come back to the US  - NOW - to sort this out.

As for the argument that she still has interests or possessions in the US......well that really does not constitute proof that she will return.  

It's really telling to me that they feel they need to argue their perspective on this forum, when they should be directing their energy elsewhere.   If what they are saying is true, then by all means return and get this matter resolved.

[phillyone]

I agree too.. Deanna, Please bring Hanna back to the US. Please do what's right!!

[overyourhead]

I have so many problems with Deana's story. Starting with the fact that there are plane tickets that she gave Mr. Walding that promised a return date of september 3, 2009. She was not allowed to leave the country without giving him these tickets. Therefore, she knew that when she did not return on that date she was breaking her custody agreement. If Mr. Walding did the same thing, a father taking his child on an extended vacation, and did not return Hannah to her mother on the correct date, you bet the mother would make a huge issue of it. Both parties need to stop and consider the one person that is hurting in this the most...hannah. Deana's own words on the news "hannah misses her dad" but it's too complicated for her to come back? If your child is hurting for her father, how can you keep her from seeing him?
The abuse accustion is just that...an accusation that he beat her years ago? I am sorry and I sound horrible, but I don't believe it. Was this brought up during divorce proceedings?
I was also in the service and I also took anger management courses, not because I was abusive or abused but because it was offered and it got me out of work for a week. Seven people had to take it so i figured why not? This is standard on bases.
Deana constantly is bashing her ex husband for traveling to Mexico and everyone has heard he went to Jamaica with his girlfriend and is now buying a house. How is this even a logical argument excusing child abduction? Sounds like a case of jealousy that the ex husband has moved on.
My last point is this. Having 2 daughters myself if I was afraid of someone abusing them (especially their father) I would not allow any visitaton with him. Hell, I'd break the law to ensure they did not see him. Deana asked Jeff numerous times to keep Hannah for her full summer/winter vacation. Doesn't seem like she was afraid of him them. As a matter of fact, I recall Mr. Walding talking last year about how is ex wife not only asked Hannah to remain with him for the duration of the summer, but that she had asked him to enroll the daughter in school and allow hannah to stay with him for an entire year. Mr. Walding did so, and Deana (if he was telling the truth) showed up on his door step unannounced the day before Hannah was to begin school and took the daughter back with the promise of a puppy. She even asked Mr. Walding's moms for a ride to the airport. Now, if I was afraid of some guy, I doubt I would show up on his door step asking for a ride.  
I have to say that I work with Mr. Walding. While I do not particularly like him. He is a good worker and is always fair and consistent with being known for doing everything "to a t". I would like to believe the things that are being said, because I am not fond of him,  but I don't. I know that Mr. Walding took a lot of time last summer to be with his daughter and I honestly can say that the only time I saw him happy at work was the day he said he was taking off to go get his little girl.
I believe Mr. Walding probably was a jerk to live with. I don't believe that he deserves to have his daughter taken from him though. Working in the courts I can tell you (and having a custody order myself) that joing custody means that even if Deana is parent of primary custody she has to alert and discuss all decisions for Hannah's future and education. She is not authorized ot make them alone.
If Deana had gone through the courts and done this legally Mr. Walding would not have needed to go through the chanels that were gone through. Deana claims she is coming back and has intentions to return, but what is her reasoning behind the 3 wrong dates. How can she say she was going to come back Dec 26 when she then admits she has another exam date in febuary? Sounds to me like she never planned to come back and is waiting on the outcome of her exams to make her final decision.

[Sashia]

The legal system in the U.S. is the place to show your proof.

[overyourhead]

oh, and my biggest point. deana is doing all of this to get into flight school. However, it seems like being a fugitive of the USA isn't going to help her become a pilot. As a matter of fact, being a fugitive will probably hinder her from completing her biggest dream. All of this could have been avoided if she had let the courts handle this matter prior to leaving. The courts may have said "you can go to bahrain but hannah has to stay" then deana would have been able to make the decisoin on her own. Going above the law and knowingly abandoning a court order seems pretty reckless.

[SageDad]

oh, and my biggest point. deana is doing all of this to get into flight school. However, it seems like being a fugitive of the USA isn't going to help her become a pilot. As a matter of fact, being a fugitive will probably hinder her from completing her biggest dream. All of this could have been avoided if she had let the courts handle this matter prior to leaving. The courts may have said "you can go to bahrain but hannah has to stay" then deana would have been able to make the decisoin on her own. Going above the law and knowingly abandoning a court order seems pretty reckless.

The court, or even the husband, may have agreed to an extended stay for flight school if the mother had bothered to ask for it and provided meaningful dates and plans.  It appears that, at best, she decided it would be better to apologize than ask permission.  As someone else said, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.  Ignoring return dates and leaving people in the dark as to her true plans and intentions, whether they be abduction or "extending a vacation", definitely falls in the latter category.