Ex-Marine's daughter abducted to Bahrain

[BrazilianForJustice]

(...) I am an immigrant and I can feel your pain.(...) Do not feel threatened by some of the members/organizers here but David Goldman's experience was quite different and more traumatic as the mother never really cared about her son's interest; only her own. This does not seem to be the case with you, so please do not let it be your case either.

Best wishes and welcome to the group!

Siajeannie, I am an immigrant myself and, funny enough, what that taught me was the obey the law and do the right thing...

A parental child kidnapper already did what amounts to supreme child abuse. After that, lying, manipulating the truth, using excuses not to return are, comparatively, very very easy!

The world will finally find out who this kidnapper really is, in the next few days. If she is present before a judge in San Bernardino in a matter of days, we will know that she means what she says. If not, she would finalize the destruction of herself, her daughter and drag the relations between the whole country of Bahrain and the civilized word through mud.

The stakes are so high that only an insane and dangerous person would even consider persisting with this farce.

[overyourhead]

The legal system in the U.S. is the place to show your proof.

i tink that makes the most sense of anything on here!!!!

[overyourhead]

In 2005 the 3 of us moved back to Bahrain as a family, where my ex husband took up employment. 2 months later he decided he wanted to fulfill his dream of being a cop and abandoned us here. It was me who purchased plane tickets to the US almost a year later so that Hannah could see her Daddy for Christmas. During this time, I was "trapped" by my ex when he stole her passport from me and tried to claim I was going to kidnap her (again). His family took Hannah Hannah from me to a family's home and then attempted to throw me out onto the streets with nowhere to go.
 
I have been through hell and back trying to do what's best for my daughter. I just wonder if it's ever going to come to end and we will be allowed to live in peace.

I'd like to ask you a question, I have heard that Mr. Walding did in fact send you money, and that he has a paper trail to prove this. Now, is it true that at one point you used the money he sent you and traveled back to the USA to visit friends, leaving Hannah in the Middle East while you were gone for a two week vacation? And Mr. Walding did not know of any of this until a family member of yours emailed him pictures of you partying on some girls porch?

[overyourhead]

In 2005 the 3 of us moved back to Bahrain as a family, where my ex husband took up employment. 2 months later he decided he wanted to fulfill his dream of being a cop and abandoned us here. It was me who purchased plane tickets to the US almost a year later so that Hannah could see her Daddy for Christmas. During this time, I was "trapped" by my ex when he stole her passport from me and tried to claim I was going to kidnap her (again). His family took Hannah Hannah from me to a family's home and then attempted to throw me out onto the streets with nowhere to go.
 
I have been through hell and back trying to do what's best for my daughter. I just wonder if it's ever going to come to end and we will be allowed to live in peace.

I dn't know why this isn't working for me. But as I was saying, if mr walding beat you on base and had to take am then i'm sure that there is  paperwork documented for this. You should obtain it. Also, is it true that you lived with his mom and dad whlie going through your divorce because that's what he claims. He claims you lived there prior to your marriage and after you were served with divorce paperwork even though your best friend lives only an hour away. Is any of this accurate?

[JonathanR]

Saw this on CBS local New York news tonight at 11pm EST. There are three videos within the article, one from yesterday and two from today. (I can't seem to get a separate link for the videos - look on the right side of the page under "related")
 
http://wcbstv.com/local/international.custody.fight.2.1469034.html
 
Feb 3, 2010 11:55 pm US/Eastern
 
Mother In Bahrain Custody Case Speaks Out
 
Deana Aref Says She'll Bring 8-Year-Old Daughter Back To Ex Marine Husband After All Charges Are Dropped
 
NEW YORK (CBS) ― "Bring Hannah Home" is a New Jersey father's plea.
 
On Tuesday night we told you about his legal battle to get his 8-year-old daughter out of the Middle East. His ex-wife took Hannah there six months ago, refusing to return.
 
On Wednesday night the mother spoke out for the first time.
 
"What happened was we just ended up delaying our trip a little longer," Deana Aref said.
 
On a web chat from Bahrain, Aref explained why what was supposed to be a five-week trip in August with daughter Hannah has dragged on for six months.
 
She claims it is simply a vacation, extended.
 
"They promised her back and she never came back," father Jeff Walding said.
 
Walding, an ex-Marine, is now a sheriff's officer, and he called it running away and a criminal act.
 
"She kidnapped her. She kidnapped her, kidnapped her from everybody, everybody who cares about her," Walding said.
 
Aref said she had every intention of coming home with her daughter when she took her from the family's home in Chino, Calif., 6,500 miles away to Bahrain, Deana's native country.
 
Her ex-husband, now living in Clayton, N.J., pressed charges.
 
"I don't want to be arrested in an airport and have my daughter taken away from me," Aref said.
 
Gloucester County Prosecutor Sean Dalton met with the FBI on Wednesday as the case heated up.
 
"There's been criminal charges filed for interference with custody," Dalton said.
 
Deana now has a lawyer and said she will not return until after charges are dropped, something that right now is considered unlikely.
 
"Honestly, right now I don't trust him," Aref added.
 
Hannah is attending private school in Bahrain and her mom is studying to be a pilot. Walding hopes attention in the media and help from politicians will put enough pressure on his ex wife to come back with Hannah and face the consequences.
 

i don't believe her for a second. excuses excuses.....

[siajeannie]

Hannahasmum,
I'm with saiJeannie,
It seems there is more to this case than meets the eye. As someone else said, the "proof" needs to be directed to the proper authorithies. I can tell that you are afraid to trust the legal system, as we know how well it can be manipulated, both here and in other countries. The legal system is the best place to iron this out. Having a good lawyer that can put the pieces together and present them to the judge would be your best avenue. Good Luck.

I agree with this, as well. I think the more Deana spends abroad, the better it will look for her husband. He will get support even though I suspect his case is not as a clear-cut case of international child abduction.

[siajeannie]

Siajeannie, I am an immigrant myself and, funny enough, what that taught me was the obey the law and do the right thing...

A parental child kidnapper already did what amounts to supreme child abuse. After that, lying, manipulating the truth, using excuses not to return are, comparatively, very very easy!

The world will finally find out who this kidnapper really is, in the next few days. If she is present before a judge in San Bernardino in a matter of days, we will know that she means what she says. If not, she would finalize the destruction of herself, her daughter and drag the relations between the whole country of Bahrain and the civilized word through mud.

The stakes are so high that only an insane and dangerous person would even consider persisting with this farce.

I think you are judging this mother wayyy too fast. I am not saying that she has made the right choice here but still her husband (although apparently a good man) does NOT deserve our support either, at least not yet.

As far as I know, they are divorced. Divorces are messy. The story is more complicated as it seems. I took time to read both sides. Did you? There are problem with both versions. Still, the fact is that this is not a simple case such as David's or any other child abduction case I have seen so far. That being said, I agree with most here that this case needs to be resolved under the legal system because we really have no way of judging what "she said" vs. what "he said".

I guess I am only asking people here to be more cautious of giving support to a father that seems to be taking advantage of the awareness given to this serious issue (international child abduction) to get full custody.

Now, regarding your comment on following the law.. really, there was no logic in that. I said I understand her struggle as an immigrant (while she was living here, already divorced, and trapped in a situation where she could not leave the country). In no way I support she overstaying her visit with the daughter in another country without proper authorization. So, I do not get why you make this connection.

I am not supporting illegal actions at all -- although it seems to me that this whole story is quite unfair to the mother. Still, unfair as it might be, she got trapped here in the US, and now she has to follow the laws here - for the benefit of her daughter and herself. So please do not take my words out of context. Apologies if my writing was not clear enough but supporting her wrong-doing is not what I meant when I say I sympathize with her as an immigrant.

-Simone

[siajeannie]

i don't believe her for a second. excuses excuses.....

Why not? She made a mistake by overstaying. I think it is wrong for us here to judge either side at this point.

I hope the charges are dropped so that she can return and resolve this case in court. She will have no excuses to return, then.

[Marinewife]

Siajeannie, I am an immigrant myself and, funny enough, what that taught me was the obey the law and do the right thing...

A parental child kidnapper already did what amounts to supreme child abuse. After that, lying, manipulating the truth, using excuses not to return are, comparatively, very very easy!

The world will finally find out who this kidnapper really is, in the next few days. If she is present before a judge in San Bernardino in a matter of days, we will know that she means what she says. If not, she would finalize the destruction of herself, her daughter and drag the relations between the whole country of Bahrain and the civilized word through mud.

The stakes are so high that only an insane and dangerous person would even consider persisting with this farce.

There is no current case pending in San Bernardino County Ca, nor any other county in Ca, the State of Jurisdiction. Mr. Walding filed for full custody in his home town, even though he signed a stipulation that all modifications and any further custody matters were to be handled by the state of California.

[Marinewife]

Why not? She made a mistake by overstaying. I think it is wrong for us here to judge either side at this point.

I hope the charges are dropped so that she can return and resolve this case in court. She will have no excuses to return, then.

Thank you. I know that Deana would thank you too, for listening, for seeing her side rather than jump to judgement.

[JonathanR]

Why not? She made a mistake by overstaying. I think it is wrong for us here to judge either side at this point.
 
I hope the charges are dropped so that she can return and resolve this case in court. She will have no excuses to return, then.

 
because it doesn't make sense, that's why. a flimsy explanation like "the vacation went on longer than expected" leaves a lot of unanswered questions. that mr. walding has valid criminal charges filed against her says a lot too. the legal system would not be involved if there weren't something to it.
 
now she may have a reason.....BUT, let them duke it out HERE on US soil. (my guess though is she knows she'd lose if she came back!)

[BrazilianForJustice]

I have been trying to find merit in the kidnapper's statements.

The only think I can see is that, at least, the excuse wasn't: "oops... I forgot to go back!"

In any case, the kidnapper will be invariably be showing her true colors in the next few days. By continuing or not with the kidnapping in course in Bahrain.

[openminded]

he was supposed to see her on the 26th of december!!! that makes it just over a month overdue! why is it on the news? why is it abduction? its not like he sees her ever day?! its one month only, as far as hes concerned. THATS ALL!

[BrazilianForJustice]

And by the way, if this kidnapper think the host country will allow the kidnapper to jeopardize the relationship, well...
 
This from last Wednesday in Washington:
 
 
 
FOREIGN MINISTER AL KHALIFA: Thank you. Thank you, Madam Secretary. Good afternoon, everybody. It’s wonderful to be back in Washington, D.C., and to meet once again with my dear friend, the Honorable Secretary of State Ms. Hillary Clinton. This meeting gave us the opportunity to discuss a whole range of issues of mutual interest and concern in a typically warm and friendly American atmosphere.
 
The Kingdom of Bahrain and the United States of America share a historic, deep-rooted, and multifaceted relationship. We appreciate the pivotal role the United States plays in upholding the security and stability of such a vital region to the whole world. In this context and against this backdrop, we explored ways and means to further enhance our evolving partnership, a partnership that serves our common interest of regional security and stability, and where every step taken, where every step taken to defend the region is a positive, collaborative measure built on a history of joint defense cooperation that spans several decades for the benefit of the region at large.
 
The Kingdom of Bahrain has always called for a region free of weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East. To that end, we believe that the current situation surrounding the Iranian nuclear file should be resolved in a peaceful manner, in accordance with the Security Council resolutions and in complete adherence to the rules and regulation of the IAEA in a fully transparent manner. Furthermore, we discussed how the Gulf region could benefit from the use of nuclear power for peaceful civilian purposes in a safe, secure, and efficient manner.
 
We also reaffirmed our commitment to a durable and lasting peace in the Middle East. Bahrain appreciates the leadership of the United States on this issue and its commitment to achieve a peace based on a two-state solution that will bring all countries in the region to a mutually beneficial peace accord. It is imperative that we explore every option there is and not limit ourselves to what we have today, while at the same time working closely with the Palestinian Authority under the leadership of President Mahmoud Abbas to realize a capable and effective Palestinian state.
 
On Yemen, we discussed our participation in the London conference which was held last week and explored ways to assist Yemen in overcoming the numerous challenges it faces in order to be able to confront the most salient threats of extremism and terrorism.
 
Finally, Madam Secretary, while I express my sincere appreciation to you personally and to your very able team, I would like to commend your efforts, continued commitment to your allies and partners; your candid thoughts are on so many important matters. I look forward to continuing our constructive cooperation. Thank you very much.
 
SECRETARY CLINTON: Thank you, sir.

[SageDad]

he was supposed to see her on the 26th of december!!! that makes it just over a month overdue! why is it on the news? why is it abduction? its not like he sees her ever day?! its one month only, as far as hes concerned. THATS ALL!

It is not just one month, it is since september that she has been in Bahrain against the father's will.  A custodial parent has more say in their child's life than just getting to see them once in a while.  They should be consulted and have a say in all the major decisions in the child's life.  Which school they'll go to, what activities and groups they should be involved in.. and, though it should be plain as day already, what country they live in.

There is no current case pending in San Bernardino County Ca, nor any other county in Ca, the State of Jurisdiction. Mr. Walding filed for full custody in his home town, even though he signed a stipulation that all modifications and any further custody matters were to be handled by the state of California.

That sounds like a great argument for the mother to make... in California courts! And not on the other side of the world.  You kinda make yourself look dumb when you say the father is usurping the jurisdiction of CA courts when the mother did that back in Sept. when she overstayed the vacation the court allowed her.  Pot calling the kettle black?