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Author Topic: A club I wish that I did not join.  (Read 11307 times)

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Offline NoansDad

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A club I wish that I did not join.
« on: February 28, 2011, 08:38:15 PM »
To all the supportive and inspirational people that I have seen involved on this site since the day last week when I finally had the guts to look at it.

My name is Simon Williams. I am living in Miami. I am originally from Australia but moved here and became a citizen 19 years ago. 9 years ago I went to Rio for a holiday and met Renata who 2 years later would become my wife.

3 days after our marriage in San Francisco she had to return to Rio as he father in law was sick and dying of cancer. (he is still alive and kicking) From that point on during the 7 years of our marriage she spent 4 years of it in Brazil (17 separate trips) while I worked 2-3 jobs to fill in time as well as support both us and her family in Brazil. I moved to Brazil for a year to be with her when she simply would not come back.

We moved to Miami from San Fran 3 years ago as she wanted to live somewhere warmer, be closer to her family and for us to start a family.  My life finally began the day that Noan John Pedrosa-Williams was born on February 4th 2009.

I will not bore you with the details of my marriage that are undoubtibly the same as every other man who has his wife take his child to Brazil. Her family needed money so I helped them out, my wife needed to be go back to help them out for every single hiccup and then would have reason to delay every single trip from the planned one week to 3 months or even 2 years. If I didn't send more money she would feel too guilty for her family and not be able to come back.

My wife gained American citizenship so that she would not have to worry about losing her green card if she decided she wanted to be in Brazil for longer than the 6 months allowed out of the country.

Once my son was born my life became literally, "You will do exactly as I want otherwise you will come home from work and find that we have left and gone to Brazil" which is exactly what happened the first time when Noan was only 6 weeks old. They did come back that time.

My wife prevented me from taking my son home to see my family for the occasion of my little sisters wedding and yet she would take him to Brazil at every chance she could.

Finally in August of 2010 she went on a trip that I was told was two weeks but was planned for 3. I asked her to come home in two weeks... I was told neither her nor my son were coming home.

I subsequently found out from my lawyer in Rio that two properties we had bought in Rio 5 years earlier were placed in her name and that she had claimed to be single when they were bought so that she could claim I had no right to them. My wife has filed the same court processes that they all file, custody of my son, requirement of me to pay child support, as well as a police report that I tried to kill her when I went to Rio in October to try and see Noan. I was never allowed to spend more than the 3 minutes I saw Noan in the building lobby and then was assaulted by her mother and chased from the building before the Police arrived at the apartment I was at to tell me that I had to answer a threat of violence against my wife.

I too am unable to return to Brazil at present for the fear of being arrested until my Hague case is filed and my lawyer has sorted out the numerous lawsuits my wife and her lawyer uncle have filed against me.

My life at present is work and then as soon as I can I get home to sit in front of my computer in the hope that I will see my son on Skype. I have probably seen him for a total of two hours in 8 months, I have seen the couch by itself for an hour and the roof for an hour as she will simply point the camera away so that I can hear his voice but cannot see him.

Even without receiving any as of yet I am so grateful for the support that I see has been offered on this site because I can literally be honest and say that more than stealing my child, my wife has taken away my pride as a man, as a human being and most importantly as a father. My father is my inspiration for all that I have worked for in my life and I have never been prouder than the day I got to show my son to him... And now I am ashamed to even call my parents to let them know how I am doing. I am ashamed to call my friends for support when I am feeling down. That is what this situation does to someone. It takes away everything you have that makes you a person. Everything.

Noan, your Dad loves you and misses you every single day.

Offline luvthelake

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2011, 09:53:19 PM »
All I can say that I am sorry that you are going thru this pain. I am not a left behind parent, just someone who tries to help other left behind parents any way I can. All I can do is pray for you and your family and send e-mails and contact people when neede. Good luck

Offline ANALE

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2011, 10:14:26 PM »
My heart goes out to you in reading your story.  One can never imagine that a person can be so cruel.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Offline forthelost

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2011, 10:55:54 PM »

My life at present is work and then as soon as I can I get home to sit in front of my computer in the hope that I will see my son on Skype. I have probably seen him for a total of two hours in 8 months, I have seen the couch by itself for an hour and the roof for an hour as she will simply point the camera away so that I can hear his voice but cannot see him.


That's truly cruel. That saddens me, but doesn't surprise me.

Offline Bree

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2011, 11:17:32 PM »

My life at present is work and then as soon as I can I get home to sit in front of my computer in the hope that I will see my son on Skype. I have probably seen him for a total of two hours in 8 months, I have seen the couch by itself for an hour and the roof for an hour as she will simply point the camera away so that I can hear his voice but cannot see him.


That's truly cruel. That saddens me, but doesn't surprise me.

I thought the same thing when I read the post.  How cruel!  It's like dangling a piece of candy in front of a child.  Although, my first comment (to myself) was "Just great, another one to Brazil!"

What kind of person rips away a persons child and won't let them have any contact?  Disgusting!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Simon.  Stay strong!
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman

Offline rduffiel

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2011, 08:54:46 AM »
I am so sorry for your pain, and heartache.  I also will be praying for you.  I don't know how some people can be so cruel.

God sees your pain, and no injustice last forever. 
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline Grace

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2011, 01:37:22 PM »
Hi Simon. There are many of us Brazilians who will try to help you with what we can in spreading awareness about your case. It's very unfortunate that these people can be so selfish and that Brazil aids these moms. This has got to stop!

Offline SageDad

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2011, 09:08:11 PM »
Welcome Simon,

There are reasons to be hopeful that things are changing in the way this issue is viewed and how these cases are handled.

Never give up on your son.  The path may be, and probably will be, long, but there's no other road for a loving parent to take.

If you are to survive to see this struggle overcome, take time, and care, of yourself too.

Best of luck to you in your efforts.

We are here to help.

-Carlos

“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi

Offline NoansDad

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2011, 09:35:31 PM »
Thank you Carlos, yes I am trying hard to beleive that from what I see and read from the very beginning postings on this site that the later someone has had their child taken to Brazil things are getting easier for us compared to those who came before.

I am hoping that any success I or anyone else has will start a landslide of positive results.

Cheers
Noan, your Dad loves you and misses you every single day.


Offline Dan_Plainview

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2011, 02:28:46 PM »
Thank you Carlos, yes I am trying hard to beleive that from what I see and read from the very beginning postings on this site that the later someone has had their child taken to Brazil things are getting easier for us compared to those who came before.

I am hoping that any success I or anyone else has will start a landslide of positive results.

Cheers

Carlos has given you great advice. Try to keep your highs low and your lows high. As David has displayed for us so publicly, when the news is good you need to be guarded, when the news is bad you need to remain steadfast.
Dan
 
Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Offline NoansDad

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2011, 07:44:54 AM »
Para todas as pessoas de apoio e inspiração que eu já vi envolvida neste local desde o dia da semana passada, quando finalmente tive a coragem de olhar para ele.

Meu nome é Simon Williams. Estou morando em Miami. Eu sou originalmente de Austrália, mas se mudou para cá e se tornou um cidadão há 19 anos. 9 anos atrás, fui ao Rio para passar férias e conheceu Renata, que dois anos mais tarde se tornaria minha esposa.

Três dias depois do nosso casamento, em San Francisco, ela teve que voltar para o Rio como ele sogro estava doente e morrendo de câncer. (Ele ainda está vivo e pontapés) A partir daí, durante os 7 anos do nosso casamento ela passou quatro anos do que no Brasil (17 viagens separadas) enquanto eu trabalhava 2-3 empregos para preencher o tempo assim como o apoio a nós e sua família no Brasil. Eu me mudei para o Brasil por um ano para estar com ela quando ela simplesmente não iria voltar.

Nós nos mudamos para Miami a partir de San Fran três anos atrás, como ela queria viver em algum lugar mais quente, estar mais perto de sua família e para nós para começar uma família. Minha vida finalmente começou o dia em que John Noan Pedrosa-Williams nasceu em 04 de fevereiro de 2009.

Eu não vou te aborrecer com os detalhes do meu casamento que são undoubtibly o mesmo que qualquer outro homem que tem sua mulher levar seu filho para o Brasil. Sua família precisava de dinheiro para que eu ajudava-os para fora, a minha mulher precisava ser voltar para ajudá-los a cada soluço único e depois teria razão para atrasar cada viagem a partir da semana planejada para três meses ou até dois anos. Se eu não mandar mais dinheiro ela se sentiria muito culpado por sua família e não ser capaz de voltar.

Minha esposa ganhou a cidadania americana para que ela não teria que se preocupar em perder seu green card, se ela decidiu que queria estar no Brasil por mais de seis meses a permissão para sair do país.

Uma vez que meu filho nasceu minha vida se tornou, literalmente, "Você vai fazer exatamente o que eu quero senão você vai chegar em casa do trabalho e achar que temos deixado e ido para o Brasil", que é exatamente o que aconteceu pela primeira vez quando Noan foi apenas 6 semanas de idade. Eles fizeram voltar naquele momento.

Minha esposa me impediu de levar o meu filho para casa para ver minha família por ocasião do meu casamento irmãzinhas e ainda assim ela o levaria para o Brasil em todas as chances que podia.

Finalmente, em agosto de 2010 ela foi em uma viagem que me foi dito foi duas semanas, mas foi planejado para 3. Pedi-lhe para voltar para casa em duas semanas ... Foi-me dito nem ela nem meu filho estavam voltando para casa.

Eu posteriormente descobri do meu advogado no Rio que duas propriedades que tinha comprado no Rio há 5 anos foram colocados em seu nome e que ela havia prometido ser único quando eles foram comprados de forma que ela poderia reclamar que eu não tinha o direito a eles. Minha esposa entrou com os processos judiciais mesmo que todos os arquivos, a custódia do meu filho, exigência de me pagar apoio à criança, bem como um relatório da polícia que tentou matá-la quando eu fui para o Rio em outubro para tentar e ver Noan . Eu nunca fui autorizado a gastar mais do que os três minutos que vi Noan no átrio edifício e, em seguida, foi agredido por sua mãe e perseguido a partir do edifício antes que a polícia chegou ao apartamento que eu estava para me dizer que eu tinha que responder a uma ameaça de violência contra a minha esposa.

Eu também sou incapaz de voltar ao Brasil no presente para o medo de serem presos até que o meu caso Haia é arquivado e meu advogado tem resolvido a inúmeras ações judiciais a minha esposa e seu tio advogado entraram contra mim.

Minha vida no momento é de trabalho e, em seguida, assim que eu posso chegar em casa para se sentar na frente do meu computador na esperança de que vou ver meu filho no Skype. Eu provavelmente já viu ele por um total de duas horas em 8 meses, eu vi o sofá por si só por uma hora e no telhado de uma hora que ela vai simplesmente apontar a câmera para longe para que eu possa ouvir a sua voz, mas não pode vê-lo .

Mesmo sem receber como ainda sou muito grato pelo apoio que eu vejo tem sido oferecidos neste site porque eu posso, literalmente, ser honesto e dizer que mais do que roubar o meu filho, minha esposa tirou meu orgulho como um homem, como um ser humano e, sobretudo, como um pai. Meu pai é minha inspiração para tudo o que eu trabalhei na minha vida e eu nunca estive mais orgulhoso do que o dia que eu tenho que mostrar o meu filho para ele ... E agora eu tenho vergonha até mesmo para chamar meus pais para que eles saibam como eu estou fazendo. Tenho vergonha de chamar meus amigos para o apoio quando estou sentindo para baixo. Isso é o que esta situação faz com alguém. Ela tira tudo o que você que faz de você uma pessoa. Tudo.
Noan, your Dad loves you and misses you every single day.

Offline tweinstein

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2011, 01:19:09 PM »
There are a lot of similarities in the way that our wives behaved. Multiple trips to Brazil, wanting to move to Miami, buying properties and claiming to be single, siphoning money, etc. I know it can be overwhelming, but what you need to do is continue with your life and be able to say when needed that you did everything possible as a father. Staring at the computer screen in the hopes that the mother will turn the camera around is not helpful. Filing a petition for access until the petition for return is resolved is. Although Brazil seems loathe to return any children, it appears that they have, since the law against parental alienation was passed last year, become good at allowing access.

Offline Sandra

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2011, 06:32:04 AM »
... And now I am ashamed to even call my parents to let them know how I am doing. I am ashamed to call my friends for support when I am feeling down. That is what this situation does to someone. It takes away everything you have that makes you a person. Everything.

One big minus I see in your story is you got away from your family and friends, where they could be your greatest allies in this fight. David always had family and good friends by his side. I know it 's easier said but first of all think that you're not the bad guy in this history. People who love you will give you a great emotional and spiritual support. So, don't let "her" take everything from you. Get your parents, get your friends and make yourself bigger and stronger.

Hi Simon. There are many of us Brazilians who will try to help you with what we can in spreading awareness about your case. It's very unfortunate that these people can be so selfish and that Brazil aids these moms. This has got to stop!

Agree fully.

Offline LBPOP

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Re: A club I wish that I did not join.
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2012, 05:19:34 PM »
Hi Simon,


I finally had the guts myself to register on the forum.


I'm a LBP : LBPOP


Son in Brazil.


I've read your post and article several times as well as Tim's Articles. Very helpful and enlightening.


What you said in the end of your post hit the nail on the head. I couldn't say it better myself.


I can't even say the words what LBP stands for without feeling sick maybe that's what


took me over a year to finally register...but I'm here :) LBPop!