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Offline Andrew

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Home, and the healing begins...
« on: March 28, 2011, 05:58:45 PM »
Hi everyone,

Thank you again for your help, support and prayers.  We've been home for nearly 2 weeks now, and things are a little better each day.  This update is from last week, but I wanted to share with you:

From March 19
The boys are doing great. They came home to their room late Tuesday night and immediately picked up their old toys. Some Japanese card game. Then I saw Christopher measuring his height against their bunk beds. He did a few chin ups on the upper frame, then laughed.

On Wednesday morning they woke up late due to jet lag. Poured themselves a glass of milk and had eggs for brunch. Then they went outside to play basketball.

We had to go see the Minor's Counsel so she can report to the judge that they are returned.

School will start on Monday at the same school they attended when they were abducted. It is 2 blocks away from home and is a familiar environment with friends. They know the basketball coach very well from a previous basketball program. They love basketball had basketballs with them at the airport so they will have lots of fun.

They have made great strides since a difficult time at the Singapore airport on Tuesday morning. They had a great time on the flight to LA and played the onboard video games, movies and ordered snacks from the attendants. Room service in the air!
 
At the Singapore airport, a brother-in-law to the mother came over to see me and said he wanted to talk to me.  He said you have to remember to do the right thing for the boys.  This is funny coming from Choy Kin Chong, a retired Singapore Army Colonel.  Why didn't he call me 18 months ago to talk? Or, better yet, talk to the boys' mother after they found out she is wanted by Interpol for kidnapping?  I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR THE BOYS.  The Wong family has in Singapore 4 sisters (June Wong, May, Lee and Claire), 2 brothers (Lester Wong and Jam), 2 sister-in-laws, 3 brother-in-laws (Choy Kin Chong, Derek and Michael) and none of them thought enough to talk to their sister to return the boys in 18 months?   Instead, they financed her actions.  From the mother's previous Declarations in the US, the money came from the US and Singapore siblings.  In Singapore, the family business Fong Mui HKS Gararge R on Targore Lane funded her bills.  In the US, sister Jane Lee-Shue and brother-in-law Richard from Clearwater FL run a Chinese restaurant that helped fund her here.  Maybe if business slowed down, they can't help finance a kidnapper wanted by Interpol, FBI and the State of California!

When we were leaving the airport on Tuesday, I said "Hi" to the boys and they responded with "shut up CENSORED."  Either their school in Sembawang, the education system in Singapore or the culture at home has a problem, or both.  The boys NEVER talked like that when they were here in the US.  Aunty May and her daughter who were walking right next to the boys did not even blink an eye when the outburst came out.  Aunty May, husband Derek and their 4 children live in the same home with the boys.  Maybe this type of language is allowed in the home so there was no reaction from her at all.  This is not a proper environment for impressionable boys.  Just incredible that they talk like that.
 
As you know, child abduction is one of the worst form of child abuse. There will be adjustment and healing going forward. But the boys are doing extremely well for just 4 days.

On Saturday morning we headed up to Big Bear Lake and ski lesson at Snow Summit.  Both boys said they wanted to take a ski lesson.  The plan is a playdate next Friday and possibly a sleepover with a few old buddies.  We are not there yet but they are definitely happy.  They are laughing, running around, and behaving like little boys should. 
 
 

Offline lovellboys

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2011, 06:13:55 PM »
Wow - being spoken to like that had to throw you for a loop.  

It was great hearing this update Andrew.  I know you were probably anticipating some bumps along the way, and it sounds like you are taking things day by day.  I can't believe you were 'told' to think of what is best for the boys.  The boys have a great dad, and I am sure they will do fine.  Good luck.

Offline cm

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2011, 06:18:34 PM »
Two weeks? Already?

Thanks for giving us this picture into your new beginnings. May the road to healing be short and smooth for you and the boys!
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "  ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Offline rduffiel

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2011, 06:25:30 PM »
Glad that you are having fun with your boys.
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline SageDad

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2011, 08:09:04 PM »
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Do what is right for your sons is good advice, even if it doesn't mean what Choy Chong thinks it means.

If it does mean working to keep their mother a part of their lives, and it probably does, then do that.  If it doesn't, don't.  Every case is different and, regardless, the mother needs to prove she can be trusted to not try to alienate or abduct the children again.

I'm glad to hear things are going well and hope they continue to do so.

Children are much more resilient and intelligent than most of us give them credit for.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi

Offline ANALE

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2011, 09:24:52 PM »
Have been thinking and praying for you.  It's amazing how well things are going and how they just got right back in the swing of things.  Hope that it continues.  I am sure they realize how much you love them.

Offline ChristineS

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2011, 09:29:04 PM »
Congratulations Andrew!   What a thrill to have your boys home.
Remember that children thrive with love and boundaries - I bet they'll be back on good 'speaking' terms with you in no time!

Offline SageDad

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2011, 01:14:19 PM »
I don't think the Office of Children's Issues could be any more useless if they tried.  Actually, I think they are trying to be as useless as possible.  It's just not possible that they could be so useless if it wasn't by design.  No organization could be so perfectly useless by accident.

Is it not enough that our children stolen have been stolen?  Why must we be forced to deal with such stupidity?
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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Offline rduffiel

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2011, 02:17:01 PM »
I don't think the Office of Children's Issues could be any more useless if they tried.  Actually, I think they are trying to be as useless as possible.  It's just not possible that they could be so useless if it wasn't by design.  No organization could be so perfectly useless by accident.

Is it not enough that our children stolen have been stolen?  Why must we be forced to deal with such stupidity?

So true.  I can't see why they even bothered to respond.
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline LukieD

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2011, 02:24:43 PM »
Andrew, you need to tell your story at the next Congressional hearing on international child abduction. It is very illustrative of the problems LBPs face even when they succeed in bringing their abducted children back home.

Once again, fact is stranger than fiction...

Offline cm

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2011, 08:12:42 AM »
Over paid and useless government officials and employees.

I'm not surprised that Ms. Jacobs stated she is 'unclear' as to what the problem is. After all, you have your children...you have your court documents. The mother shouldn't even be able to 'see' the children.

They barely budge for parents whose children have been abducted...when it comes to preventative issues they are deaf, mute and blind.

Quote
All custody orders carry an Automatic TRO (Temporarty Restraining Order) that bars the parent from taking the children
Two words that caught my attention...Automatic and Temporary. Can you get a permanent restraining order, or can verbage be inserted into your custody papers stating such? Along those lines, can it be clearly stated that mother is not to travel with children under ANY circumstances?

Since you are not receiving assistance at the federal level, ask your attorneys what you can do to seal this in cement at the local level.

I agree with LukieD...this should be brought to the next Congressional hearing.

sidebar: It's good to hear that each day is better! 

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "  ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Offline L.E.R.P.

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Prevent Departure Program Criteria & Law
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2011, 03:23:21 PM »
What the ‘Prevent Departure Program’ does is provide immediate information to the transportation industry, including all air, land, and sea channels a single point of contact at Customs and Border Protection (CBP), and provides a comprehensive database of individuals the United States believes may immediately depart to a foreign country.

The program only applies to aliens, and is not available to stop U.S. citizens or dual U.S./foreign citizens from leaving the country.

Under Section 215 of the ‘Immigration and Nationality Act’ (8 U.S.C. 1185) and it's implementing regulations (8 CFR Part 215 and 22 CFR Part 46), it authorizes departure-control officers to prevent an alien's departure from the United States if the alien's departure would be prejudicial to the interests of the United States. These regulations include would-be abductions of U.S. citizens in accordance to court orders originating from the child’s court of habitual residency.

If the abductor and child are identified, they will be denied boarding. In order to detain them after boarding is denied, there must be a court order prohibiting the child’s removal or providing for the child’s pick-up, or a warrant for the abductor.

In order for an at risk parent to participate in the program, all of the following must be demonstrated:

1. Subject may NOT be a US citizen; and,

2. The nomination must include a law enforcement agency contact with 24/7 coverage; and,

3. There must be a court order showing which parent has been awarded custody or shows that the Subject is restrained from removing his/her minor child from certain counties, the state or the U.S.; and,

4. The Subject must be in the US; and,

5. There must be some likelihood that the Subject will attempt to depart in the immediate future.

With respect to the established guidelines listed above, note that in order to request the listing of the other parent, that person must be an alien of the United States. The program does not apply to US citizens at risk of leaving the country.

The second mandate states a request to place an individuals name on the Prevent Departure Program must include support by a law enforcement agency or from the Department of State's Office of Children's Issues, which has the authority of requesting for the Department of Homeland Security to list a suspected child abductor on the Prevent Departure Program.

The third criteria: possessing a custodial order, is essential. Regardless if the other parent has joint custody or rights of visitation, critically, you must make sure that there are injunction orders in place prohibiting the child from being removed from the jurisdiction of habitual residency. Unfortunately, many international parental child abductions are well planned out in advance of the actual abduction, and the targeted parent has no idea that an abduction is in progress until it is too late. This is why it is essential for parents in partnership with nationals to be fully aware of the warning signs associated with a potential international child abduction.

The fourth criteria states the obvious: in order to prevent an alien-parent suspected of abducting a child on U.S. soil, that parent must be on U.S. soil.

The fifth criteria requests that the applying parent demonstrate that the alien-parent has demonstrated the likelihood of abducting the child across international borders in the immediate future. Remember – you need to document and record as much evidence as possible.

For many parents who face the risk of having their child abducted and removed across international borders, the nightmare that both targeted parent and victimized child face is unbearable.   

The Prevent Departure Program is not for everyone and should not be abused; however, in situations where an abduction threat is real and the targeting parent intent on abducting a child is a non-US citizen possessing the capacity to breach court orders and abduct a child of a relationship, the Prevent Departure Program may be a useful tool. chasingthecyclone

 I would suggest getting your Congressman and Senator engaged in your goal. Request that the assist in expediting your application for the Prevent Departure Program.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Additional Precautions:

In a perfect world the groups below would react to a potential abduction with precision that of course is not the case. Contact your State Attorney and explain what you have gone through and what you anticipate. Include the legal methods of protection you already have
in place and waiting on.

Ask that the States Attorney communicate to your Local Police Chief, County Sheriff and State Police Sgt Major who covers your territory, give copies children's most recent photos; update the photos to these groups every 6 months. Request the States Attorney send you a letter when they have finished communicating to all of the local law enforcement.

Request a National Child Identification Program Kit from the FBI. Kit provides a physical kit to gather your child’s pictures, fingerprints, personal characteristics, and even DNA to keep with you in case of emergency.

If your an I-Phone user http://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/2011/august/child_080511
Upload the FBI "Child ID App".

School - Friends - Community Programs - Sports.
Maintain a clear and unbreakable chain of certainty with those that are engaged in your children's life; "Only myself and other" will  pick up my children. Direct communication via phone to "myself and other" is the only method that will change any previous arrangement (ask that they be vigilant to ensure that your phone number & other is verified if a call is made). Written notes from anyone should alert you to immediately, protect children, dial 911, then contact me!     

 
I pray the peace you have earned finds you every minute of every day. L.E.R.P.
Failure is not defined by attempts to change what is wrong back to what is right; failure is defined by accepting what is wrong and doing nothing to change it!   L.E.R.P.

Offline L.E.R.P.

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Prevent Departure Program Criteria, Law & State Dept role.
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2011, 05:11:25 PM »
It is very clear The :deadhorse State Dept/OCI has not read this GOA Document on Prevent Departure Program.

It reads very clear that Suzan Jacobs State Dept OCI is the Gov body that is to initiate, start, begin the application on behalf of the PARENT; contact your Congressman & Senators to help you expedite & give the State Dept a deadline of 48 hours.

Thank goodness their are pictures and illustrations to help State Dept/OCI understand.

Tip: Add "State Dept" to the find on PDF
http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d11602.pdf
« Last Edit: October 16, 2011, 05:15:17 PM by L.E.R.P. »
Failure is not defined by attempts to change what is wrong back to what is right; failure is defined by accepting what is wrong and doing nothing to change it!   L.E.R.P.

Offline Andrew

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2011, 05:21:33 PM »
Thank you all for your suggestions.  Ms. Susan Jacobs confirmed that changing Section 5 of California's Child Abduction Prevention Attachment (Form FL 341(B)) is what needs to be done so that the State Dept can support the DHS Prevent Departure Program.

We went to Court on Wed Oct26 on other matters.  While there my attorney asked the mother and her attorney if they have objections to the amendment.  They did.  The attorney Cynthia A. de Petris said agreeing to the amendment means her client admits to planning a crime or admitting to a crime.  She has already been convicted of kidnapping!  Now we have to prepare documentation and go ex parte next week to get the FL 341(B) amended. 

After a LBP gets his children back, we have to continue to look over our shoulder.  US Laws on issuance of children's passports do not apply to the Singapore Consulate or Embassy.  The Singapore Consulate or Embassy has not given any assurance that they will not re-issue passports to the boys or issue "Document of Identity" in the boys' name which will allow the mother to take them on a plane and out of the US again.  The State Dept is not making it easy to get the boys on the Prevent Departure Program either. 

In the meantime, the boys' Court-appointed Minor's Counsel Ms. Deborah Manning of Glendora has been pushing for the kidnapper to have email access to the boys since August.  She thought a website called Our Family Wizard will control the flow of emails.  It doesn't.  The process is supposed to happen this way: mother sends email that Minor's Counsel and the boys' therapist reviews/approves.  After that, the email is released to the boys' email id at www.ourfamilywizard.com   Found out from OFW that they do not have functionality to do this.  All you do is email eachother to let eachother know the email is ok.  Then why did Minor's Counsel want me to pay $100 to sign up for OFW?  This makes no sense at all.

Deborah Manning is also the Minor's Counsel for the Brian Miller children who were abducted to Mexico and found/returned in August.  Manning filed a declaration that says contact with the favored parent or taking parent too soon undermines the reunification process with the alienated parent.  Yet less than 5 months after the boys' return, she was in Court recommending email access for the kidnapping parent.

We have been trying to do this process since end of August.  The taking parent changed a randomly assigned user id to "Chris-Piggy" and "Will-Reindeer" with their birthdays as the password. I found this odd and asked OFW (Our Family Wizard). They said the mother changed it.  On a hunch, I tried to sign-up for a gmail user id with Chris-Piggy and Will-Reindeer and found both user id's to be taken.  The mother was trying to remind the boys of their user id so she can circumvent the email controls and send them un-monitored emails!

That was over the Labor Day weekend.  On Oct4, Minor's Counsel again said her emails contained foreign words and inappropriate references to userids and passwords.  But Ms. Manning will not withdraw her support to give the mother contact with the boys. 

The boys' therapist said to "trust the process."  The boys were abducted while they were in the process; and those people who were part of the process were not around to help get them back.  How naive is what my therapist said.

The struggle never ends.  People will NEVER understand what we LBP have to endure and the stress we are under to keep our children safe. 

Offline SageDad

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Re: Home, and the healing begins...
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2011, 03:49:08 AM »
Thank you all for your suggestions.  Ms. Susan Jacobs confirmed that changing Section 5 of California's Child Abduction Prevention Attachment (Form FL 341(B)) is what needs to be done so that the State Dept can support the DHS Prevent Departure Program.

Shifting goal posts.  You will find that if CA changes whatever laws State says needs to be changed they will find another pretext for why they can't do anything.  The reasoning may change, but the end result always remains.  They don't want to do anything and they make getting them to do anything so painful and time consuming that parents just look elsewhere.


We went to Court on Wed Oct26 on other matters.  While there my attorney asked the mother and her attorney if they have objections to the amendment.  They did.  The attorney Cynthia A. de Petris said agreeing to the amendment means her client admits to planning a crime or admitting to a crime.  She has already been convicted of kidnapping!  Now we have to prepare documentation and go ex parte next week to get the FL 341(B) amended. 

After a LBP gets his children back, we have to continue to look over our shoulder.  US Laws on issuance of children's passports do not apply to the Singapore Consulate or Embassy.  The Singapore Consulate or Embassy has not given any assurance that they will not re-issue passports to the boys or issue "Document of Identity" in the boys' name which will allow the mother to take them on a plane and out of the US again.  The State Dept is not making it easy to get the boys on the Prevent Departure Program either. 

In the meantime, the boys' Court-appointed Minor's Counsel Ms. Deborah Manning of Glendora has been pushing for the kidnapper to have email access to the boys since August.  She thought a website called Our Family Wizard will control the flow of emails.  It doesn't.  The process is supposed to happen this way: mother sends email that Minor's Counsel and the boys' therapist reviews/approves.  After that, the email is released to the boys' email id at www.ourfamilywizard.com   Found out from OFW that they do not have functionality to do this.  All you do is email eachother to let eachother know the email is ok.  Then why did Minor's Counsel want me to pay $100 to sign up for OFW?  This makes no sense at all.

Deborah Manning is also the Minor's Counsel for the Brian Miller children who were abducted to Mexico and found/returned in August.  Manning filed a declaration that says contact with the favored parent or taking parent too soon undermines the reunification process with the alienated parent.  Yet less than 5 months after the boys' return, she was in Court recommending email access for the kidnapping parent.

We have been trying to do this process since end of August.  The taking parent changed a randomly assigned user id to "Chris-Piggy" and "Will-Reindeer" with their birthdays as the password. I found this odd and asked OFW (Our Family Wizard). They said the mother changed it.  On a hunch, I tried to sign-up for a gmail user id with Chris-Piggy and Will-Reindeer and found both user id's to be taken.  The mother was trying to remind the boys of their user id so she can circumvent the email controls and send them un-monitored emails!

That was over the Labor Day weekend.  On Oct4, Minor's Counsel again said her emails contained foreign words and inappropriate references to userids and passwords.  But Ms. Manning will not withdraw her support to give the mother contact with the boys. 

The boys' therapist said to "trust the process."  The boys were abducted while they were in the process; and those people who were part of the process were not around to help get them back.  How naive is what my therapist said.

The struggle never ends.  People will NEVER understand what we LBP have to endure and the stress we are under to keep our children safe. 

It's not just any LBP that has to suffer such treatment.  It's the father.  Change the gender roles here and the abductor wouldn't be allowed within 500 miles of the children.  Over-coming the legal and social presumption of male guilt and female innocence is extremely difficult and must be done repeatedly in every court and with every agency and institution involved.  In any conflict between the parents the father is presumed guilty (if not a rapist, pedophile and serial batterer) and the mother is presumed to be the innocent victim.  The victim father looks for help and gets treated like a suspect in a criminal investigation.  The mother routinely breaks the law and abuses the children and finds a whole system designed to rescue and protect her if she will play damsel in distress.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi