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Author Topic: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........  (Read 16141 times)

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Offline JuliRosi

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #15 on: July 20, 2011, 05:45:55 PM »
Congratulations! :yeahthat

Offline forthelost

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #16 on: July 20, 2011, 06:11:59 PM »
Hooray!

Offline André Felipe

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2011, 06:43:51 PM »
I just hope that some of them will see this story and know that there are other options if the outright return does not work.
I was offered visits over 4 years ago. The key that you point out is ". . . if the outright return does not work." So far, I haven't been willing to negotiate for visits until I'm out of legal options for a return. Sadly, I'm just about there.
You are already there Tim. Start the process now using Article 21. It's best for the children. Use my case in Manaus as an example to the judge and AGU. I will share the docs with you once everything is final so you have an example. I had a very deep conversation with Nicole about this and I went with what she wanted. Not what I wanted. Children will just about always want to stay with Mommy. At least mine did and now she knows that she has her freedom back to come and go as she please outside of her school. Best of luck to you my friend. If I can help in anyway, please let me know.

Congratulations Nicole's Dad, I wish I could be at the hearing, to get some experience and give support, but my job wouldn't allow it.

It's not the return order almost all the LBP want, but still a great and positive development to the child. I agree most of the very young children would prefer to be with the mothers, and most judges also think that. Hague proceedings should only be about jurisdiction, but unfortunately it is not, in the real world. I hope your case will be beacon to other cases in my country. Children need to be with both parents.

Offline rduffiel

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #18 on: July 20, 2011, 07:12:02 PM »
I also would like to add my congratulations, I am glad that it worked out for you. 
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline Michael & Emily Reunited

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2011, 07:57:58 PM »
Congrats. That's wonderful news

Offline ProudDaddy

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #20 on: July 20, 2011, 08:52:21 PM »
I just hope that some of them will see this story and know that there are other options if the outright return does not work.
I was offered visits over 4 years ago. The key that you point out is ". . . if the outright return does not work." So far, I haven't been willing to negotiate for visits until I'm out of legal options for a return. Sadly, I'm just about there.
You are already there Tim. Start the process now using Article 21. It's best for the children. Use my case in Manaus as an example to the judge and AGU. I will share the docs with you once everything is final so you have an example. I had a very deep conversation with Nicole about this and I went with what she wanted. Not what I wanted. Children will just about always want to stay with Mommy. At least mine did and now she knows that she has her freedom back to come and go as she please outside of her school. Best of luck to you my friend. If I can help in anyway, please let me know.
Man, you're a real father! When one puts aside his/her personal rights for the best of the child then he/she is a real parent! Congrats for this little albeit precious victory.

Offline ANALE

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #21 on: July 20, 2011, 10:14:43 PM »
Nicole's Dad

I read this somewhere - maybe on one of the posts here:

"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than yours"

You are an amazing father!!

Offline sara

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2011, 10:27:08 PM »
I'm very happy Marty will be able to enjoy quality time at home with his beautiful daughter!!!
It is very sad that we have to settle for this outcome and rejoice over it. Of course, his little girl will say she wants to stay with her mom. That's all she really knows and her only feeling of stability. The mom should have been sent back to Texas with Nicole a very long time ago, where the court of competent jurisdiction should have adjudicated all custodial arrangements. The child should not be put in the middle to choose. It is completely counter intuitive to the Hague convention. As we rejoice over this partial reunification, the underlying tragedy is that The Convention is completely defunct and only proves how much work is needed.  God bless Marty and Nicole as we continue to fight for the return of abducted children coming HOME under Treaty law not by settling, making agreements and rewarding abductors!!
« Last Edit: July 20, 2011, 10:29:47 PM by sara »

Offline SageDad

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2011, 12:37:24 AM »
I'm very happy Marty will be able to enjoy quality time at home with his beautiful daughter!!!
It is very sad that we have to settle for this outcome and rejoice over it. Of course, his little girl will say she wants to stay with her mom. That's all she really knows and her only feeling of stability. The mom should have been sent back to Texas with Nicole a very long time ago, where the court of competent jurisdiction should have adjudicated all custodial arrangements. The child should not be put in the middle to choose. It is completely counter intuitive to the Hague convention. As we rejoice over this partial reunification, the underlying tragedy is that The Convention is completely defunct and only proves how much work is needed.  God bless Marty and Nicole as we continue to fight for the return of abducted children coming HOME under Treaty law not by settling, making agreements and rewarding abductors!!


 :yeahthat

Emotional "bonding" of abused children with their abusers is a familiar story in psychology.  Emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims of abuse and intimidation.  An abusive parent controls every aspect of a child's world and a child cannot comprehend the idea that if they tell the truth about the abuse, anything else, or even just how they really feel, against the will of their abusive parent they may not have to go home with that parent again who will once again control every aspect of their world.

I'm not fond of courts routinely asking abused children if they want to stay with their abusers and when these "modern and progressive" courts start allowing abducted children to make decisions about what country they will live in and with which parent, they are creating perverse incentives for the abductor to alienate and abuse the child to manipulate them into telling the court exactly what their abusers want them to say. 

Even if asking small children such questions and holding up the answers as some sort of holy grail of modern-day enlightenment did not itself create a strong incentive for abuse, small children should not be asked to take sides in their parents conflicts.

As far as children generally preferring to live with their mothers that's really irrelevant.  Specific cases are determined based on the facts of that specific case, not on what other people might generally prefer.  Even more to the point, which country a child lives in, is not at all the same as with which parent.  If I'm not mistaken their are millions of children in the United States that are able to live with their mothers without needing to be abducted to a foreign country.

The legal victory sounds promising.  I'll hold off on celebrating until the visits actually take place in the US as agreed to.  I have a hard time trusting countries that don't generally enforce the international treaties they sign to enforce their own court orders and mediated agreements.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi

Offline StrngConviction

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #24 on: July 22, 2011, 10:07:21 PM »
If my son has to go through an emotional rollercoaster of choosing between me and his mother  that would further mentally and emotionally damage him I would stop .
      Noone should put a child of.any age in the position of choosing between a parent ,no matter how either of the parents are acting at the time. It is not in the best interest of the child and any court that thinks burdening a childs mind  with that choice doesnt have a freaking clue .
Behind this smile is something only we LBP understand.
                May God be with ALL our children.

Offline Grace

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #25 on: July 28, 2011, 05:16:21 PM »
I think Nicole's Dad got a reasonable deal that will allow him to bond with his daughter, if not perfect. Congratulations!  And after she turns 18, all bets are off.

Offline kmoor88

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #26 on: July 29, 2011, 07:25:09 AM »
Great news after a long battle! Very happy that you will get some time with Nicole. You are a great Dad!

Offline Nicole's Dad

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #27 on: October 21, 2011, 07:40:39 PM »
It's official now. Reservations are made. Nicole will be back on US soil on November 28th in Miami and we will spend the night there and fly to Houston on the 29th where the whole entire Pate family will be at the airpaort waiting for us. It has been a long 1914 days since a little gilr named Nicole was taken from her father but it's all water under the bridge now. It has to be this way for Nicole.

While it was certainly not what we deserved to have, this is still a huge victory with regards to the Hague Treaty because that mechanism is what made all this happen. Thanks to the AGU's office in Brazil. The BCA and the OCI were nothing more than paper pushers and I want to make that clear. There does need to be a government body on both sides but they have to put more emphasis on their treaty obligations or remove yourself from it. They are doing nothing more than causing even further damage to the children that was already caused by these cowardly, narcissistic control freaks that do this sort of thing and hold their very own children as  HOSTAGE!!!! My ordeal was one of the lucky ones. Thanks to all of you for the moral support I got from each of you. Especially from Tim, Renata and Andre Felipe.

Nicole will now be a part of our family on a regular basis. She will be able to come for 2.5 months at the end of every year and for 3 weeks in July. I know it's not what she deserves but at least she will now know her American culture as well. My bets will be on how long it will take her to figure out that she will have a much better life here than she would there. Only time will tell. She very well may not. She is old enough now to where it will be her decision. Not me or her mother's. Have a great evening everybody and the pictures will be flying before to long.

Offline rduffiel

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #28 on: October 21, 2011, 10:17:54 PM »
Congratulations.  I am looking forward to seeing the pictures of Nicole .  I know that she is adorale.
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline L.E.R.P.

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Re: FINALLY!!!!!!!!! Nicole is coming home..........
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2011, 10:29:30 PM »
Congratulations!
Failure is not defined by attempts to change what is wrong back to what is right; failure is defined by accepting what is wrong and doing nothing to change it!   L.E.R.P.