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Offline SageDad

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Hague Return Denied (again)
« on: August 29, 2012, 06:49:10 PM »
A new decision was issued by the Family Court in Salamanca, Mexico to deny Sage's return.

To, very briefly, summarize the history, the Hague case started in a Mexican Family Court over 4 years ago.  The Family Court then also denied Sage's return.  I appealed and three months later the State Superior Court overturned the Family Court's decision and ordered Sage's "immediate" return.  My wife appealed and some nine months later the 1st level Federal Court confirmed the order for Sage to be immediately returned.  Then, in August of 2010, the 2nd level Federal Court, and final court to hear the case, chose to not decide and declared a mistrial and said that Sage had not been "properly represented" and thus didn't have his opinion "heard" in court.  I have always recognized this decision for what it was -- an excuse to not return Sage that was used to avoid the fact that there was no legal justification or evidence for outright denying the return. 

And so we started over in family court with a new judge.  One year ago, after hearing the case for a full year, the family court judge presiding over the case requested to be removed, and we moved onto the 3rd Family Court judge.   Now, two years after the Mexican High Court declared a mistrial, the Family Court has denied Sage's return again.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2012, 09:59:37 PM by SageDad »
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Offline Bree

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2012, 07:29:06 PM »
Why do countries become a signatory to the Hague if they never plan to fulfill their promise to return abducted children within 6 weeks?  Mexican courts appear to be a joke!

At this point, where do you go from here?  Do you keep appealing and wait months/years for a response? 

I'm sure Sage's mom is sitting back gloating in her "success", but she will one day (I hope) realize what a selfish coward she was when she ran and kept her son from knowing his father.  I hate to say that about Sage's mom, but if she truly had his best interests at heart she would want him to be a part of your life.  Only a coward runs and lies about why she was leaving.  She's a disgrace!  Sorry to be so blunt about my opinion of her.

I'm so sorry, Carlos! 
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman

Offline kim in socal

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2012, 10:45:31 PM »
 >:(
Damn....really hoped for a  better outcome but after seeing your posts and videos, realized that the Hague is just a piece of paper...It is up to each signatory country to actually follow it...I know your heart is broken so I don't have words to help other than maybe you can help others out in a similar situation. You have inspired me and I still have hope you will be able to have some part of your son's life. Ugggg....
 

Offline SageDad

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2012, 11:02:15 PM »
We will, of course, appeal.  In many ways this decision was just cosmetic and would have been appealed, and not enforced, either way.  The 1st level State courts are truly the worst courts in the country and it's good to be, mostly, done with them.

What this decision shows though is that the Mexican officials in the actual city my son lives in remain totally hostile to my efforts to see my son or bring him home.

My wife's family has lots of connections in her home town of Salamanca.  Her father, in particular, is an Engineer in the famously corrupt national oil company Pemex.  Pemex has enormous influence around all of Mexico but has special influence in Salamanca, because of the oil refinery there -- it's the only one in the country (and the reason that the city is the most polluted location in the country if not the Western Hemisphere.)

I believe it is my father-in-law who really planned, financed and maintains this conflict.  Since this has started he's repeatedly barged in and tried to intimidate or manipulate me.  He's made a series of demands and conditions upon me in order to communicate with my son and told me I should work with him exclusively and avoid trying to deal with my wife directly.  He's also repeatedly made threats.  These types of tactics, threats, intimidation, etc are very ineffective with me.  I grew up a poor Hispanic with an absent father and two sisters to look out for around a bunch kids who wanted to play gangsters.  I don't scare easily in general (and I'd face a tank for my son anyway,) so I've mostly just blown off all of his blustering, but now I believe that he does the same thing to his daughter as well and she's not me and is financially totally dependent on him.  He's manipulative and dishonest (explains where my wife got it from) and has taken my defiance of him as some sort of personal insult (it's actually more indifference than defiance but it amounts to the same for him and his over-sized ego.)

The crazy thing is, my wife has a half-brother her age that she's never met.  Her father was having an affair and got his girlfriend pregnant at the same time as his wife.  After they were born, his wife found out about the mistress and demanded he stop paying her bills or she would seek a divorce.  The mistress responded by taking his first born son to the United States and they never saw him again.  So my father-in-law knew all about international child abduction long before Sage was ever born.  Sage is part of a second generation of international child abduction in that family.

Left to her own devices and free of my father-in-law's pressure I don't think my son's mother would have continued this for so long.  I've seen her and it's very clear that this long-running conflict has taken a toll on her.  She's looks 10 years older than she did 5 years ago.  She may have been able to avoid returning to the US, but she hasn't been able to leave Salamanca, dump Sage with her parents or go off partying while collecting fat child support payments from a foreign father either.  She's still married and stuck playing responsible mother while a legal case drags on for half a decade. I would have given her custody and child support in the United States if she'd come back.  If she hadn't been so totally untrustworthy, unreliable and unsupportive of my rights as a father I would have been willing to even compromise with Sage living in Mexico most of the time or moved there myself.  She knows this and has to pretend she's the victim both inside and outside court while knowing every moment of it deep down that she's the "bad guy."  I'm actually very understanding and easy to compromise with within certain inflexible limits (like renouncing my son's legal rights or placing trust in the untrustworthy when it comes to life changing decisions about him.)  She also knows that I love my son and it can't help that he looks a lot like me.  There was just no need for it to go on this way for so long.  She had many options to resolve this, but mistakenly assumed I would give up and beg her to see my son on her terms, but that's not possible.  Part of my being a good father to my son is being a role model and man that he can look up to.  Children learn more from what we do than what we say.  My son has no reason to look up to a father who cannot, or will not, protect him from the abusive whims and horrible decisions of his mother or extended maternal family.  She had many options as to how this played out.  She left me only one.
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Offline rduffiel

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2012, 11:07:19 AM »
Carlos:
 
I am so sorry that you got a unfavorable decision.  Totally unfair and not a legal basis for the decision .  I sure a lot was based on gender bias.
 
I  will always support you and  the other LBP's.
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Rose

Offline ANALE

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2012, 04:23:21 PM »
This is just outrageous Carlos.  You and all the other LBP are always in my prayers.  I don't know if they are just complete morons or if it is the corrupt system.  I suspect it is a combination of the two.

Offline Bree

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2012, 05:00:44 PM »
Thank you for your response Carlos!  I have much admiration and respect for you.  So many would have given up by now, but not a real dad, like you!
Now that you've said what you have about her dad, it explains A LOT!  I had wondered if there were any connections there and there is.  He's very influential.  Knowing now that he has a son that he never knew, or had the opportunity to watch grow up, says a lot.  And to know that he is the one ruling the home and stating who can visit Sage also says a lot.  It's as if he believes he can replace his son with Sage.  Too bad for him (NOT!) that you won't give up on YOUR SON like he did on his. 

Good luck with your appeal!
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman

Offline rmakielski

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2012, 03:39:57 AM »
I am so sorry Carlos. Even if the denial to return was expected, it is still a disapointment. I see many parallels between your case and mine. It is funny that my ex and my children could have been living in nice home in the US while collecting a fat monthly support check. But her vindictive behavior will leave her with nothing but attorney a legacy of attorney fees while our children live in poverty. Even if she knew that she has grounds for a civil action against her US attorney (and would likely win), I believe her eternal grudge take a higher priority. The price of hate far outweighs the benefits of cooperation.
I place the my children rights above my own; Children have the right to have a relationship with both parents; I stand against domestic violence and child abuse; The amicable return of Abducted children is the best solution; I will obey the laws of the United States

Offline sue

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2012, 05:32:48 PM »
Like you said, this was to be expected and now will be appealed.  You're a good father Carlos and I hope soon your little boy will be able to come home.

Offline SageDad

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2012, 07:06:21 PM »
We're in the process of writing up the appeal.  It should be ready by the end of next week.  It should be a crime to force people to deal with so much stupidity.

The decision is a mess that requires the appeals court, and us, to try to untangle all sorts of nonsensical spaghetti logic and reasoning to even get to a narration of the facts that is remotely representative of the history of the proceedings, documented in the now unmanageably large court docket, before we can start to apply and interpret the law.

As just one example of the sort of things we have to deal with: the judge claims that the court cannot hold on Sage's passport to prevent another international abduction as it would violate Sage's rights...  The claim being that it is the only photo ID he currently has....  Nevermind the fact that he doesn't really have a need for a photo ID, or that there are many other forms of picture ID's that he could get which are not passports, or the fact that since it's a US Passport it's not even valid in Mexico unless accompanied by a current Mexican Visa (which he doesn't have.)
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Offline rduffiel

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2012, 07:45:34 PM »
Good luck on your appeal Carlos.
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline Bree

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2012, 12:07:12 AM »
Carlos - I have caught up with the blog your sister started.  YIKES!!!  Really, did your ex-attorney think he could get away with such illegal behavior?  Just WOW!  I was floored.  Is it possible someone paid him off in hopes that it would go through? 
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman

Offline rduffiel

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2012, 07:52:42 PM »
I also read the blog.  I am so sorry Carlos that this travesty continues.  Your ex-lawyer should be locked up and key thrown away for what he did to you.
 
I know you will never give up on Sage, stay strong your son needs you.
 
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Rose

Offline StrngConviction

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2012, 08:03:37 AM »
Carlos - I have caught up with the blog your sister started.  YIKES!!!  Really, did your ex-attorney think he could get away with such illegal behavior?  Just WOW!  I was floored.  Is it possible someone paid him off in hopes that it would go through?
This behavior by non American attorneys is pretty common. My belief is that most of them hate Americans and are just out for the money to begin with ,its either they could care less about the LBP and most likely think if the American LBP is broke its due to the culture we are portrayed to live, and if we can afford an attorney, they than think we are made of that money or that it  was attained through mentioned culture and try to drain us of every bit of it before they " teach us a lesson" and save the child from such a culture.
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Offline SageDad

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Re: Hague Return Denied (again)
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2012, 12:03:22 AM »
This behavior by non American attorneys is pretty common. My belief is that most of them hate Americans and are just out for the money to begin with ,its either they could care less about the LBP and most likely think if the American LBP is broke its due to the culture we are portrayed to live, and if we can afford an attorney, they than think we are made of that money or that it  was attained through mentioned culture and try to drain us of every bit of it before they " teach us a lesson" and save the child from such a culture.


"Chingar el gringo" (screw the gringo) is a national postre (dessert) enjoyed in every corner of the Mexican republic. 


Lawyers have a bad reputation around the world and Mexico is already famous for its lawlessness and corruption generally.  Not surprisingly then, Mexican lawyers can be especially scummy, even more so if you are foreigner dealing with them from abroad (and even more so if you don't speak Spanish and are even more dependent on them.)


Dealing with such characters is indeed par for the course and something I've always expected and been prepared for.  In the US my Mexican attorney would certainly face disciplinary proceedings and probable disbarment for his actions but since he's in Mexico he may get away with it.  I intend to pursue the matter but he's not a priority for me.  His efforts to harm my legal case for replacing him have failed and he is just one of dozens of unsavory characters I've had to deal with in that country since this story began.  If I wasted too much effort trying to deal with every one of these people I wouldn't get anything else done.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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