Author Topic: American mother and kids can't leave Ireland (Read 9797 times)

snowdove · « **Reply #15 on:** September 08, 2012, 11:06:31 AM »

Again sorry I upset this forum, as I SAID I thought it was the forum for the little boy removed from the states and made to live in Ireland. Who was born in the states and not is forced to lived there. My case as I pointed out but everyone rather put me through the ringer, is years of mental abuse, my kids were little when I left him. He used the law to his side, as he always told me if I leave I will lose the kids and have nothing. The crash of the country has forced me to live in another country close enough to visit them. He has told my kids I ran out on them, knowing the truth that I was very depressed and had to get myself sorted first before I could even think of fighting. Now I have joint rights, but he will not let them come to visit me, even though I had agreed to this, if I signed the house and bank account over to him, which I did and then in the court he changed his mind,,, the point was that again the kids have BOTH passports and America leaves us mothers out to dry. He didnt want to raise them but did this to hurt me.... the kids spend most of their time with a babysitter...so if you want to judge me because you feel your points are different try to think about... again please remove the post as it is upsetting you all

NoansDad · « **Reply #16 on:** September 08, 2012, 12:15:44 PM »

I would like to make a point on this post and something I see often, usually in interviews and in newspaper articles written, on this subject. I will say that I am sometimes not above making the same mistakes due to my anxiety and emotions when trying to talk or communicate about my situation and about this topic, BUT I think it helps all if the communication about the points people are trying to make are MADE PERFECTLY CLEAR.

It was made quite clear in the first responding post by BringJusticeHome... 'You didn't say much about your situation". And, might I add that even when I think you tried, I still have virtually no idea on what has happened in your case or your situation... And guess what, that doesn't help you. It doesn't help anyone who may be able to help you, it doesn't help any of us you are still looking for help.

If you write a line such as, "Who was born in the states and not is forced to lived there." I have no bloody idea what you are talking about. NO IDEA. Unfortunately for you.. I now think you must be an idiot, that you very well could be the danger to your children. You have lost your credibility and you have lost any chance of sympathy. And that now hurts me and every other LBP here trying to be heard.

Everyone on this site is well aware of the fact that abductors seem to be able to go to court, or on the media and ramble whatever they want, with out any evidence and literally without any thought or preparation on what they say. It is a particular fact of this situation that substantiating claims and making even a drop of sense from one side of the parties involved never seems to be an issue. This is the fact that can cause such anger from a LBP. I would hope that we continue to make sure that we support and push each other to be mindful of the higher level of proof and communication that we need to hold ourselves to, lest we become like our children's abductors and start making no sense and illicit no sympathy.

BringJusticeHome · « **Reply #17 on:** September 08, 2012, 12:59:49 PM »

Anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I have seen in a few cases people are focusing on where the child was born. If both parties agree to move to another country to live and raise their children there, then where the child is born is irrelevant. The whole point of The Hague is to return children to their habitual residence, so that the governing authority can decide custody. Habitual residence to me is wherever both parties decided to raise their child. The hague is not supposed to be used to determine custody, as all of us have seen this is not what actually happens.

From what you have said, and again you still have not given us much information. The information that you have given us is not doing you any justice, because we all are confused and do not understand your case. From the sounds of it, this is not an international abduction case nor international custody case. You agreed to live in Ireland with your then husband and children, or you married him there and had your kids there. That information is still unknown, because you have not given us a direct answer to WHERE WERE YOUR KIDS BORN? Regardless of where they were born you both agreed to live there, at some point. Unless you can show proof that some how this man forced you or coerced you to move to Ireland, then you are not going to get much help from anybody.

All this sounds like is an ugly divorce and custody matter. These things go on everyday in America as I'm sure in every other country. They are ugly, depressing and mentally draining. However they do go on everyday and your case does not seem any different then a normal custody case. The fact that you are from America ( atleast I think you are), and you live in another country, makes this case more difficult but you did agree to move there (again this information is still unclear).

The fact that you guys are now separated and that he mentally abused you for years, does not give you the right to take BOTH of your guys children away from him. You say he is telling your kids certain things that you ran out on them. Number one you just admitted to running out on them. " He has told my kids I ran out on them, knowing the truth that I was very depressed and had to get myself sorted first before I could even think of fighting." As a parent myself, once you give birth you now have a lifetime commitment to your children. There are no taking breaks to sort things out, if your a mother or father your a mother or father for life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 365 days a year. Number two if he is indeed lying to your kids and trying to fill their heads with negative thoughts about you, that is a form of mental abuse called PARENTAL ALIENATION. I do not know the laws in Ireland, but I believe in Brazil this is illegal and against the law there.

This is just my two cents you can take it or leave it, but you just admitted to being depressed. You have admitted to leaving your children, because you were depressed and needed to sort things out. Based on that I would say you do not deserve and should not be granted anything but joint custody and that is pushing it. You with out a doubt should never be granted full custody after what you just said, and with no proof of any abuse done to your children by your ex-husband. Parenting when not married is extremely hard especially when one parent is not from the country. You can not take back having children with this man, and that means that you will have to just suck it up and make due for the health and happiness of your children. Unfortunately in your case and most cases like yours, one parent is going to get the sh*tty end of the bargain. In your case because you are not from that country as far as I know, that person is going to be you.

You sound like you are on the verge of abducting your children, and taking them away from their father. I highly and whole heartedly suggest before you do anything stupid to think of your CHILDREN first, and not yourself. Your children need both parents. Unfortunately for you it is going to be much harder, but I suggest you fight to survive, fight for your kids to have both parents, and fight to make sure that both parents live in the same country.

snowdove · « **Reply #18 on:** September 09, 2012, 12:23:20 AM »

if you can read th last post I posted then it is cleared up, instead of still saying Im not telling the story.

StrngConviction · « **Reply #19 on:** September 09, 2012, 09:20:33 AM »

I read your post about the parental alienation of your children and I feel sad for you and your children Snowdove. I am not judging you and hope in the days to come you can find some serenity. Some of us on here feel isolated or " different" because of the abduction variable, but all in all , this is about the children, abduction, child abuse , divorce, whatever . I hope you and your children find a way to grow together because that is what they need, you and their Father, it was honorable of you to stay close in order to do that.

dmdaven2 · « **Reply #20 on:** September 12, 2012, 11:42:46 AM »

I mean, If my name was SnowDove...you come here and realize it's the wrong forum...why even continue posting? Use google and find out the forum you were initially attempting to find and begin there. There's no way anyone here is going to be able to help you...nor would most of us even volunteer the time when our situations are 10 trillion times more severe. The problem with mothers like you is that you always think about yourself and just because the father and you no longer get along, doesn't mean he isn't good to the kids. If you want to move...then move...but don't think your children automatically HAVE to go because you want to go. This is how abductions begin...the mother thinking she's the best fit parent by default...when really, that's not always the case.