Author Topic: wife abducted my son from China to the Philippines (Read 5202 times)

franticfather · « **on:** May 21, 2013, 06:04:33 PM »

My 7 year old is now in the Philippines. My wife left with him around noon on May 20, 2013. I have no recourse and do not know what to do. I have gone to the Philippine embassy to register my grievance but I do not know what that will accomplish. Canadian embassy told me to attain a lawyer but I am a teacher in China and can't afford a lawyer. She has cut all contact and is scrubbing all internet presence. She has some form of bipolar and I am very worried about the safety of my son. She lied to him to get him to go to the Philippines I believe but have no outright proof. If she told my son that he would not see his daddy again he would have protested profusely and she would have slapped him pinched him and pulled his hair in anger which she has done several time in the past as attested to by my son. He would come to me crying and tell that mommy pulled his hair, slapped his face or pinched him again and she does it when she gets frustrated or mad so she really doesn't have control on how hard she is doing it but he will be in obvious pain when he comes to me. Sometimes I hear the scream threw two closed doors come running and find out that she is sitting there with that look on her face that she gets when she is having an irrational episode that is probably bipolar and my son is balling his eyes out and trying to tell me threw his tears and sobbing what she did to him this time. I am very frantic and beside myself with fear for my son. The authorities so don't worry he is with his mother. A mother who took a boy away from his father that he loves and who loves him. Every night my son came to me and said good night daddy I love you sweat dreams see you tomorrow I love you. My wife talks about her rights but does not think about my sons rights to have his father and love his father and allow his father to love him. What do I do now?

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M.Capestro · « **Reply #1 on:** May 21, 2013, 09:11:16 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife and son. Neither China nor the Philippines are partners to the Hague Convention (Hong Kong and Makau have separately signed on as convention partners). I'm guessing you are a Canadian citizen (since you visited the Canadian Embassy), have you reached out to the Children's Issues Section (http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/publications/international-child-abductions)? Have you reached out to local law enforcement and reported your child missing? If you have medical reports confirming that the taking parent is not stable and may be a danger to the child, this may help get law enforcement involved...and they in turn may assist you in getting an Interpol notice issued for your wife and child. This may help you to locate your wife. If you already know how to connect with her, you may want to do so and try to calmly convince her to voluntarily return to China with your son. Or, if your wife has friends / family in the Philipppines that you can perhaps persuade to help you in convincing her to return, that might be another good option. But you should absolutely report your child missing to the local authorities.

dmdaven2 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 22, 2013, 04:12:28 PM »

Honestly you're most logical and efficient means of getting your son back would be to find them and re-abduct. Otherwise I'm positive that your son will be of legal age to determine where he wants to live on his own by the time any legal process such as the Hague (if they had one) concerning China and Philippines resolves.

SageDad · « **Reply #3 on:** May 22, 2013, 08:00:43 PM »

Quote from: dmdaven2 on May 22, 2013, 04:12:28 PM

Honestly you're most logical and efficient means of getting your son back would be to find them and re-abduct. Otherwise I'm positive that your son will be of legal age to determine where he wants to live on his own by the time any legal process such as the Hague (if they had one) concerning China and Philippines resolves.

It's pretty screwed up but, after years of studying this issue, that's about what my advice also boils down to for fathers. Don't even waste your money and time with lawyers and courts. Either walk away or hire recovery professionals. A mother might have some success with courts and law enforcement but fathers almost never get their kids back. The Hague Convention is a total failure at returning children abducted by mothers.

franticfather · « **Reply #4 on:** May 29, 2013, 01:18:03 AM »

UPDATE
my wife was at home just before 11am on Monday and the Chinese paperwork says that she left the country at 11:58:41am very tight but doable I guess but I have my doubts. Now I have confirmation that she was at a park at a birthday celebration until noon on Monday when she was supposedly at the airport or where ever leaving the country. She can not be in two places at one time. Now I am even more worried and have absolutely no idea where they are. I have gone to the Philippine Embassy and they are finding out if she went there or not. I reported it to them on Tuesday of last week and they have nothing to report yet. The Canadian Embassy will not do anything other than tell me to hire a lawyer who will bleed me dry and accomplish nothing. The Chinese cops tell me that they can do nothing because it is a domestic issue. They will not address the obvious conflict. My son could be the victim of the black market, I do not know. I am very confused and have absolutely no idea of where my wife and son are. My wife has not contacted me to tell me that she is OK or that my son is OK. This is a nightmare that is going from bad to worse. I find it very hard to sleep at night and am having a hard time keeping it together at work. Does anyone have any suggestions for me, is there some way of getting this message out so someone will come up with something concrete so my mind can be at ease and I can stop thinking that my wife and son are being held against their will some place.

dmdaven2 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 29, 2013, 02:45:47 PM »

Try contacting the National Center For Missing And Exploited Children. If you're child is registered as missing, they'll draft up missing posters of the taking parent as well as the child.

Other than that...you should be able to find out the whereabouts of your child via passport records. Entry/Exit dates on the passport should give you an idea where they are.

You should also attempt to get a Yellow / Blue notice from Interpol placed on the mother and child...this way, if they fly, their passports will be flagged and you'll be notified. (you have to have a warrant though from a police department)

Try contacting your local news and getting a segment on there as well.

And in the meantime...stay focused, and gather as much evidence as you can

franticfather · « **Reply #6 on:** May 29, 2013, 09:43:52 PM »

the cops won't register this as an abduction or kidnapping. They say it is a domestic issue. I pointed out the discrepancy in timing and the guy said that is weird but the case is closed and we won't do anything else to help you. A buddy suggested that maybe the cop is involved. There is absolutely no indication of where she went and I have no passport to check it is gone I am waiting for confirmation from the Philippine embassy to see if she is there before I go totally crazy. Once I know for sure then that she is not there then I will loose my mind and scream from the highest point that something has gone terribly wrong. I hope she is safe in the Philippines with my son rather than the alternative. The waiting is killing me though