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Author Topic: First Night  (Read 4683 times)

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Offline tweinstein

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First Night
« on: October 18, 2013, 06:29:00 AM »
My children arrived on schedule. Many phone calls from the police asking about two children who were listed as "missing" in Interpol. I didn't even know that alerts had been issued. My son says they questioned him for about an hour at immigration. Things like:
  • Were you forced to live in Brazil against your will?
  • Did your mother ever rape you?
  • Were you beaten?
  • etc.
Their mother showed up at the airport to claim them. Where she was planning on taking them is a mystery as I have a court order to keep her off the premises of the house where my children now live. The airline refused to release them to her as my name was on the unaccompanied minor form and arranged for me, with police escort, to quietly leave the airport.
Things were going very well until about 1/2 hour after we arrived home when she showed up at the door. As soon as my children saw her, my son went into hiding in the house (probably he was afraid of the heavy police presence) and my daughter started crying uncontrollably. I refused to let my daughter out of the house until the police came. Talk about an uncomfortable 5 minutes or so! Since they were making such a commotion (at 1:00 AM), I sent my daughter back inside and tried to talk to the mother with the police present. All I got were accusations of how poor of a father I am and how unreasonable/unfair I am acting. Five police cars responded and ultimately forced the mother to leave the neighborhood under police escort. They know the full history of what has transpired over the years.

My daughter continued crying for the next 2 hours until she was so exhausted (at 3 AM) that she went to sleep. They are now sleeping quietly. I am so nervous that, after 2.5 hours last night and 5 the night before, I am wide awake.

If only she stayed away and let me do my job. . . She had over 7 years to say "Goodbye". Anyways, I am not taking them from her. She returned them voluntarily and I will gladly return them to Brazil at the end of the school year- if that is what they want to do. Within 10 minutes of arriving, I already had given the phone to them to contact their grandmother in Brazil to let them know they arrived and were safe.

Let's hope things get better from here.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2013, 06:49:58 AM by tweinstein »

Offline phillyone

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Re: First Night
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2013, 07:45:07 AM »
Tim,
 
I am so happy that your children are with you now ...but I'm so sorry you and the kids had to face all this drama last night. Hopefully it's all behind you and much happiness for you and your kids!

Offline ANALE

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Re: First Night
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2013, 11:07:44 AM »
I feel so bad for what their mother continues to put you through.  After all these years you certainly don't deserve this ongoing drama.  It only hurts the children.  Was thinking about you yesterday and am happy that they arrived safely.  Hope that things will go smoothly and the children will adjust quickly.  My very best wishes to all of you!

Offline M.Capestro

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Re: First Night
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2013, 03:43:13 PM »
Unbelievable. What's is going on with this woman? Why go through the whole pretense of sending them back to you, unattended no less, if her plan was to attempt to be at the airport to greet and collect them? Why is she here in the U.S.? She didn't want them while she had them in Brazil, but now within hours of their stepping foot on U.S. soil she's mysteriously here and wanting them?


God bless you, Timothy. I'm so sorry about the drama -- was so hoping things might just fall into place for you and your children...though I am glad to hear you're at least getting proper support from the airline and police.

Offline tweinstein

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Re: First Night
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2013, 04:26:36 PM »
Things have gone very smoothly today. I took them to the doctors. They both got physicals and immunizations. We then went out to lunch and registered them for school. I bought a few clothes for my son. Now we are going to their grandma's house for dinner.

I was able to get an appointment for their mom at the psychologist that I will use for my children so that she could express her concerns. Today has been 1000% better than yesterday.

Offline sue

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Re: First Night
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2013, 06:45:42 PM »
Wow!  Why would she do that??  Why was she here?  Was she going to take them and have you pay child support here?  Crazy.  Obviously she has problems.... I'm glad things are going better today!

Offline M.Capestro

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Re: First Night
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2013, 10:27:42 PM »
So glad you all had a good day today! Here's to many more!

Offline tweinstein

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Re: First Night
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2013, 12:39:26 PM »
I think things will work out. I believe that most of the hostility between their mom and I at this point is due to the inherent distrust that we have for each other and the secretive way that she does many things. I think she is not here to create problems, but rather see first-hand that the children are doing well. I understand how she feels now because I felt the same way for the last 7 years.

Offline caleb

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Re: First Night
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2013, 11:11:49 PM »
Is there a refund for all the money you spent w/the attorneys?

Offline tweinstein

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Re: First Night
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2013, 06:04:10 AM »
Is there a refund for all the money you spent w/the attorneys?
I understand the sarcasm 100%. At this point, the only healthy thing is to look at the future and not dwell on the past. The answer is "NO" and the bills are still coming. My children still care about their mother.

Offline sue

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Re: First Night
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2013, 01:53:02 PM »
It's just wonderful that you finally have them back. 

Offline ANALE

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Re: First Night
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2013, 03:46:11 PM »
Tim
With all that you have been through you really proved that you are the better person.  Your children will come to realize it too if they haven't already.  Continued good blessings to you and your family.

Offline tweinstein

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Re: First Night
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2013, 07:23:40 PM »
Thank you for the kind words. I am playing a very delicate balancing game. Their mother is still here and I am trying to be civil and allow her to see that the children are doing well so that she can disconnect and let me do my job. I told her that I have no intentions of making her feel like she made me feel for the last 7 years. In terms of the children, they start school tomorrow and are very cooperative and fun to be around. I am using all resources available and think that things are off to a smooth start though I'll feel much calmer when their mother returns to Brazil.

Offline NoansDad

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Re: First Night
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2013, 10:12:19 PM »
Mate, all I can say is that I am so happy for you. No that is not what I want to say, I am so very f*cking happy for you. You know more, and for longer, than any of us how utterly draining, sapping and disheartening this situation is to a parent. You have suffered more than any father should ever have to f*cking suffer and I hope your kids are just overwhelmed at the enjoyment and security of being with you again. Love them harder then you can to help make up for the rest of us.
Noan, your Dad loves you and misses you every single day.

Offline Bree

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Re: First Night
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2013, 11:48:14 PM »
I had hoped she was only there for their transition.  I just found the calls about them being "missing" quite interesting.  The timing, that is.  Hopefully she will be on her way back to Brazil soon and things will be better for the 3 of you.  She has had them for the last 7 years, now it's your turn.  I do hope the kids enjoy school and make lots of new friends.   Best of luck to you Tim!   
"Every parent who has a child and they tuck him in at night, or her in at night, and they wish the best and only the best and they will always protect the child and do whatever they can, but most of the time they don't have to prove it. I'm in the proving grounds, to myself and to my child.  I have to get him home and I will do whatever I have to. I'll never stop to save him."  --David Goldman