My husband and I are still married and live in the same house. To my knowledge, he has not yet retained an attorney in order to obtain a divorce. Our daughter is nearly 5 years old. She has dual citizenship, both in the USA and Brasil. She had a Brasilian passport but it expired in 2008. She has an American passport -- which I have custody of.
My husband has been here in the US for over 12 years. He has a job that he is not ecstatic about. He recently obtained a Bachelor's Degree here in the US, which I thought was very strange because he knows cannot move up in his present job. He has -0- interest in moving (but he really does not like it here, in our state and in the US in general). Therefore, he will be making student loan payments but without the opportunity to increase his income with a better job.
BUT I also know that a Bachelor's Degree from the US would translate into a good job for him in Brasil if he would move there, as he already has 2 advanced degrees he earned in Brasil. Plus he would not have to worry about how to pay the student loans back. He hurried his way through as quickly as he could, finishing 9 months earlier than expected. I also thought that was odd, since he has no plans to change jobs and knows that his new degree will not help him in the least at his present employer.
My husband's father is a retired high-level federal judge in Brasil. He still retains much of the powers associated with his position. ( In fact, my husband's entire family is in Brasil.
Recently, my husband advised me that his mother was diagnosed with cancer last November. (Odd that I heard about it 3 months after the fact.) He also said that his grandfather was diagnosed with incurable cancer. He then then advised me that he was planning to take our daughter with him on a visit there. At the time, I'd barely heard about the Goldman case. As my husband and I were arguing about the fact that he wanted to take her to Brasil without me, I said, "What would be your motivation to come back?" It then hit me that he, in fact, would not come back.
He also took a large sum of money out of our bank account last fall, telling me that "It was HIS money and he did not need to ask permission to use it, or to tell me what he was doing with it".
My husband's life in Brasil was very much like Bruna Goldman's. When he visits there, the maid takes care of everything. He does very little -- he does nothing, actually, except what he wants (which is very similar to his life here in the US, minus the maid. Or perhaps that was to be my role). I know he misses his family and his life there. He hates having a house here - home maintenance is not something he enjoys in the least. Truthfully, I cannot think of one thing he enjoys about living in the US except the fact that our daughter is here.
I have contacted a Brasilian Consulate and was given email addresses for them all, so that I could advise them that I DO NOT give permission for:
1. my daughter to travel to Brasil
2. for any Brasilian passports to be issued in my daughter's name
If anyone has any further suggestions / advisements, I would greatly appreciate hearing them. I would also appreciate hearing from those who have had similar experiences while being married to Brasilians, and what they did regarding their situation. Maybe it would help me to realize I am not the only one either in this kind of situation, or who has dealt with this kind of situation.
Sometimes I think I am crazy. He does a good job of making me feel like I am, and that I am waaaay too paranoid.
Thanks for your time!