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Author Topic: I am an American citizen and married to a Brasilian man (who has just told me he wants a divorce and to soon travel with our daughter to Brasil).  (Read 23148 times)

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Offline abbysomething

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I am amazed that it's so easy to take a child. My son is an actor and whenever we travel to Canada or the UK, I have to have a notorized letter from my husband and they check our documents and question me at every check point.
 
The last time we went to Canada they asked me a lot of questions and looked over my papers so closely. This kind of scrutiny, by the way, started when my son was first traveling at 9 years old, and continued even when they recognized him from movies and asked him for an autograph.
 
All of this was before I knew about cases like Sean yet I was really happy that the airport took these precautions. I was very patient while they did the security checks. It gave me piece of mind for other parents, but now I see it's not kidnap proof.
 
By the way, both my husband and I had to be present just to get our son's passport. I'm not sure if a notorized note could be used.
 
I would also like to add, do not feel bad about your suspicions, better paranoid then childless. Given the details you've shared here, I don't trust your husband for ONE second and from the sound of it, you are very very wise to be suspicious. It is looking and walking like a duck.
 
I am not trying to add to your stress but I would also advise you to make sure whenever he is with her, or picks her up, there are witnesses if possible. That way she would fit the criteria for an Amber Alert if need be. (you need to know the abducter, make of car and plate number).
 
Best of luck to you and may we all enjoy many happy healthy years with our children.

Offline busylizzy

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USAMOM,
 
Please be very careful and act fast. Listen to the advice given in all these threads. You are NOT crazy, but he will make you feel like that. Do you have a community resource centre you can go to for a briefing on keeping you and your daughter safe in an emergency situation? They will give you tips and tricks, stash money away with a trusting friend or family member away from your home, keep a list of important phone numbers on you and at a safe location, keep all passports and birth cert. locked up away from your home ( a safety deposit box is good), keep a record of you rmarriage certificate, start to make copies of all you assets, investments, receipts for items purchased in home ( helpful for division of assets), list of all you assets and values and proof if available of what you owned prior to marriage, copies of all you income tax filings, copies of home purchase documents, copies of his expenses and withdrawls from the joint account, keep a diary away from home with notes of all dates and times of incidents and conversations, purchase a mini tape recorder if you have to, to record conversations and hide tapes in safety deposit box. Be very careful who you trust or speak to about your plans, keep it to a minimum as there is always one who you think you can trust who will spill the beans to him, and don't ever underestimate his actions. If you think he could not be bothered to look at this site or read the Goldman case, you are WRONG - trust me, he they play dumb and seem disinterested, all the while they are planning their attack (so to speak).
 
GO AND SEEK LEGAL HELP NOW - file for a divorce and custody only after you have gotten all of your paperwork out of the house, have money on the side to make a move to a safe place with your daughter and don't enter into long discussions or arguements with him.
 
Be careful, you never know what someone's breaking pint is when they will explode and you want to keep yourself and your daughter safe.
 
Good luck - my thoughts are with you.
 
Fight for your self and your daughter and be strong because the emotional and psychological and mental stress of the next little while will feel like it is killing you.
 
I know, I lived through it... it nearly killed me.

Offline SageDad

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Quote from: abbysomething;14091
. That way she would fit the criteria for an Amber Alert if need be. (you need to know the abducter, make of car and plate number).
 
Best of luck to you and may we all enjoy many happy healthy years with our children.


Sad to say but this country is a long way away from issuing an amber alert for a parental abduction unless she has a mountain of legal documents and believeably claims the child is in danger with the father.  Without all the legal groundwork and paperwork in place I wouldn't be surprised if the police didn't even file a report if she called to report an international parental abduction.  When I called the police after tracing emails to Mexico, they told me "well you know he's [my son] in Mexico right?"... "well then he's not missing".  They didn't even file a report!  They told me since I didn't have a custody order my wife had custody (though she didn't have one either).
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi

Offline dmdaven2

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Crazy thing is, I knew the WHOLE time my baby's mother was going to take my daughter out of the country, and even had EVIDENCE of her saying her plans...and still couldn't prevent it...sad but there is no actions for abductions until AFTER an abduction happened...even the so called "prevention" methods seldom work..look at Sean Collins case, the police actually detained the mother at the airport and she was STILL able to leave...I don't know...all i can say is with this group of people and this support, any future child abductors should think twice...it's not gonna be that easy anymore! :mad2:

Established 2009: The League of Extraordinary Parents!
Devon Davenport - Father of Nadia Lynn ;)

Offline kimmy

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Can anyone tell us if the father could apply for a new US passport for the daughter by saying he lost the original one?  Do both parents need to sign the forms? It may do mom no good to hide the US passport if dad can get another.

Offline André Felipe

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well, you have an advantage, you are woman, you are a mother!
 
brazilian judges tends to make decisions favourable to mothers. There is a general idea here that is better a child be with the mom than with the father, if the parents are separated.

Offline dmdaven2

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^^ Yea, but let's hope they stop with the favoritism and 1) make decisions based on the TREATY alone, which is jurisdiction, and 2) make decisions on a case by case basis based on the parents abilities to care for the child, not their sex.
Devon Davenport - Father of Nadia Lynn ;)

Offline André Felipe

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Quote from: dmdaven2;14110
^^ Yea, but let's hope they stop with the favoritism and 1) make decisions based on the TREATY alone, which is jurisdiction, and 2) make decisions on a case by case basis based on the parents abilities to care for the child, not their sex.

yes, specially with Hague´s case, in many cases here in Brasil is better the child be most of time with the mother indeed, but that "general idea" shouldn´t prevail above international child abduction cases.
 
but I said that because, at least, this "general idea" will benefit her if the worst happens.

Offline Teena

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PLEASE LISTEN TO THE ADVICE! BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teena Duffy
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BringSeanHome.org

Offline Wendy

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USAMom..I think you have made the first most important step and that is posting your concerns here and seeing that no matter what he says, you are NOT crazy.  I was concerned reading the things you say he's done and I would be more than a little freaked out.  Please call an attorney (and maybe even one that is well-versed in the Hague?) and get documents taken care of.  I'll be thinking of you!!
History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.
 
~ B. C. Forbes ~
 
"It doesn't matter which way you cut this. If you abduct a child from a country and remove it from its parents, its other parent and its extended family and its culture, it is one of the most extreme forms of child abuse that you can inflict upon a child."

well said by Ken Thompson.

Offline Belleizel

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I see all your pain. so sorry for that.
I see how the David Goldman case, can open doors, for you and another person that live in the same situation. Soon in Brasil, will hapen a hally, and in Usa too.
To make a hally and send letter, is a way of dont give up.
I pray to God to make you be stronger in this hard situation.
Dont give up. Keep all this love, and say to yourself.
I can, I am not will give up! Nothing is impossible if you believe!
Pray to God. Spend time with your family and friends, you are not alone.

Offline caique mateus

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Question to André Felipe and Roger. Is it possible?
« Reply #71 on: March 27, 2009, 04:32:32 AM »
One legal question for our lawyers.
 
I remember that when Bruna moved to Rio she asked for the custody in Rio saying that she had an agreement with her husband for the separation (she said the conversation started while she was in USA, right?) and that the child was in a school already.
 
Is it possible that USAMom sends some kind of "awarning" to Brazilian forum, cartórios, Polícia Federal (who else?) in the area where husband family's lives telling that her daughter lives in USA, USA is her local place of residence, any kind of custody negotiation should go in USA, etc., etc., etc...? She could also send letters to schools in the area telling that and awarning schools to not accept her child under these circunstances. I know it's a lot of trouble, but could help. Or not?

Offline roger

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There is no such thing as an Amber alert here. I would play it safer and take all possible steps to prevent an abduction in trhe first place. Our authoritoies will not becpme educated in the Hague Convention that quoicl.

Offline roger

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Re: Question to André Felipe and Roger. Is it possible?
« Reply #73 on: March 27, 2009, 07:27:07 AM »
Quote from: caiqueemateus;14199
One legal question for our lawyers.
 
I remember that when Bruna moved to Rio she asked for the custody in Rio saying that she had an agreement with her husband for the separation (she said the conversation started while she was in USA, right?) and that the child was in a school already.
 
Is it possible that USAMom sends some kind of "awarning" to Brazilian forum, cartórios, Polícia Federal (who else?) in the area where husband family's lives telling that her daughter lives in USA, USA is her local place of residence, any kind of custody negotiation should go in USA, etc., etc., etc...? She could also send letters to schools in the area telling that and awarning schools to not accept her child under these circunstances. I know it's a lot of trouble, but could help. Or not?

I can only guess that no public authority in Brazil will pay attention to warnings, as they are world's greatest specialists in passing on problems to someone else's hands.
 
The only thing I can suggest her is to proactively prevent an abduction while everyone is in the U.S. so that she does not have to worry about anything Brazilian-related.

Offline sue

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You need to listen to Roger and act immediately.   I would be scared to death and I would do whatever it took to see that this did not happen.  See an attorney today.