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Author Topic: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments  (Read 17248 times)

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Offline momof2

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2009, 12:37:58 PM »
My heart was beating so fast looking at the photos and reading your words. I am sure you were just beside yourself getting to see that beautiful boy. I hope he is home with you very soon.
:) Momof2

Offline Teena

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2009, 12:41:10 PM »
He is so adorable! I am praying for you....for a fast and favorable verdict. Good luck!
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Offline sue

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2009, 01:15:39 PM »
Carlos, he's beautiful.  Oh this makes me cry, such a loss for the child....I'm glad you got to see him and I'm hoping for a fair outcome.  Is your ex willing to share custody or anything?  What a beautiful little boy you have :)

Offline dmdaven2

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #18 on: April 06, 2009, 01:26:36 PM »
Quote from: gail;16033
Carlos, he's beautiful. Oh this makes me cry, such a loss for the child....I'm glad you got to see him and I'm hoping for a fair outcome. Is your ex willing to share custody or anything? What a beautiful little boy you have :)

WHAT!?!? :burn: ARE YOU SERIOUS? These abductors should have NOOOOOOOO custody whatsoever when this is resolved...as a LBP i'll die before I SHARE custody with the mother of my child again...she and all other abductors have officially forfeit their rights by absconding with our children! :mad2:
Devon Davenport - Father of Nadia Lynn ;)

Offline SageDad

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #19 on: April 06, 2009, 02:04:49 PM »
Quote from: gail;16033
Carlos, he's beautiful.  Oh this makes me cry, such a loss for the child....I'm glad you got to see him and I'm hoping for a fair outcome.  Is your ex willing to share custody or anything?  What a beautiful little boy you have :)


My wife has made me a similiar offer to that which Bruna made David.  Sign an agreement that gives her full custody (and a large pension), agree to never pursue additional civil or criminal remedies and she will allow supervised visitations in Mexico...  Even if something like that appealled to me, I unfortunately do not have enough trust in my wife that I would be able to rely on her to not be "on vacation" or some such every time I'd go to Mexico for a visit or alienate my son from me as he gets older by teaching him to hate me.  She has also engaged in a concerted effort to alienate me from her family by claiming I have a history of child abuse, am a drug dealer, was in a mental hospital, tried to force her to have an abortion and left my son on the street crying for milk while I went out with my friends spending all my money on alcohol.  That I never paid for any part of the pre-natal care or my son's health care bills (when I later showed mountains of receipts showing otherwise she claimed that I had paid them because they only accepted credit cards and she reimbursed them all in cash)  Then she had people from Mexico send me emails claiming Sage wasn't even really my son.  That she had had yet another affair with someone in Mexico who was the true biological father (and looked exactly like him).  I have copies of all the emails she sent saying those things.  To try to avoid me submitting the emails in to evidence she claimed that I had hacked her email account and sent out emails from her account defaming myself with the intention of making her look bad.  She also claimed that my son never lived with me, though she "doesn't remember" what her actual address was and doesn't want to give the name of the person she claims to have lived with.  When asked why someone who didn't care about their son would go through all the effort I have to bring him home she has, at various times, claimed that:

- I want "revenge"...for what I'm not sure since she says we were never really together and that she paid me to marry her for immigration reasons

- I am trying to force her to come back to me because I can't deal with her leaving me

- I am trying to use our son "to get famous"

- I am just a mean-spirited person trying to "bother" her family

To this day they generally refuse to send me pictures or news of my son.  In general they have stopped trying to defame me since they've learned that I always respond and unlike them, have the evidence to support my claims.. and my claims haven't evolved over time either, but rather have been exactly the same from the begining.  Like David, I have recorded conversations, videos, pictures and all sorts of evidence.

My wife has been unwillingly to agree to any form of real shared custody and even if she did at this point I'd be hard pressed to accept it after all the bad blood they've created even after the initial abduction.  Which is sad because, although I consider her to be a terrible and selfish person, my son loves her and, aside from a little parental abduction and alienation, she is not a bad mother.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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Offline SageDad

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2009, 02:16:21 PM »
I actually had a pleasant chat with my father-in-law at court this time.  He claimed he understood what I was doing (fighting for my son) and that he would do the same thing if he were in my position.  That I was welcome to visit anytime I wanted and that they weren't trying to replace me as a father or alienate Sage from me.  I re-iterated to him that that was all great and, if it were the case, they had no reason to continue to refuse to send me pictures and news of Sage, including pictures and info on how he had celebrated the holidays.  I repeated to him, for the 10th time, that I would never sign away mine or Sage's rights for the promise of visitations, pictures and news of my son, nor would I become desperate and do something that could be held against me, so the only thing they were achieving was making the situation uglier than it needed to be.

Still, as much as I'd like to think he was being sincere, he asked me several times to go outside the courthouse to continue our chat, something I established on my last two visits that I would not do since I wanted my entire visit to be under the supervision of the court to avoid any false allegations.

He said he'd make sure I start getting pictures and info about Sage and I hope I do, though I won't hold my breath.  He also said he'd make sure Sage got to keep all the toys I brought him and that he still plays with the toys I brought on earlier court visits... though I expect they throw them away as soon as they leave the courthouse :/
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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Offline snoslidr74

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2009, 02:24:30 PM »
Carlos,
 
I'm just wanted to say how happy I am you got to see your son.  I have a boy the same age born just two days after Sage.  It breaks my heart that you two are apart.  I hope that we can help you and other LBP's....

Offline sue

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2009, 02:27:55 PM »
Quote from: carlos;16054
I actually had a pleasant chat with my father-in-law at court this time. He claimed he understood what I was doing (fighting for my son) and that he would do the same thing if he were in my position. That I was welcome to visit anytime I wanted and that they weren't trying to replace me as a father or alienate Sage from me. I re-iterated to him that that was all great and, if it were the case, they had no reason to continue to refuse to send me pictures and news of Sage, including pictures and info on how he had celebrated the holidays. I repeated to him, for the 10th time, that I would never sign away mine or Sage's rights for the promise of visitations, pictures and news of my son, nor would I become desperate and do something that could be held against me, so the only thing they were achieving was making the situation uglier than it needed to be.
 
Still, as much as I'd like to think he was being sincere, he asked me several times to go outside the courthouse to continue our chat, something I established on my last two visits that I would not do since I wanted my entire visit to be under the supervision of the court to avoid any false allegations.
 
He said he'd make sure I start getting pictures and info about Sage and I hope I do, though I won't hold my breath. He also said he'd make sure Sage got to keep all the toys I brought him and that he still plays with the toys I brought on earlier court visits... though I expect they throw them away as soon as they leave the courthouse :/
That's awful.  I thought you said her family knows what a liar she is, how can they be backing her?  I wouldn't sign a damn thing and I would continue as you are if this were me.  What a horrible and evil woman.  I'm sorry, but I hate this.  I'm sorry for all you are going through and I hope they give you your rights.

Offline sue

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2009, 02:30:27 PM »
Quote from: dmdaven2;16041
WHAT!?!? :burn: ARE YOU SERIOUS? These abductors should have NOOOOOOOO custody whatsoever when this is resolved...as a LBP i'll die before I SHARE custody with the mother of my child again...she and all other abductors have officially forfeit their rights by absconding with our children! :mad2:
You don't need to get angry with me, I'm on the side of you left behind parents.  But if Mexico is not a signatory of the Hague, it would be nice if the person who took the child away would come to their senses and share custody of the child.

Offline tweinstein

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #24 on: April 06, 2009, 02:34:29 PM »
Mexico is a signatory to the Convention, though it has a very poor record of compliance. As for shared custody, the mother sounds crazy with all of her accusations.

Offline sue

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #25 on: April 06, 2009, 03:16:06 PM »
Quote from: tweinstein;16059
Mexico is a signatory to the Convention, though it has a very poor record of compliance. As for shared custody, the mother sounds crazy with all of her accusations.
She sounds very crazy, very bad situation.  I didn't know for sure if Mexico was a signatory.  I hope the boy is ordered home.

Offline SteveW

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #26 on: April 06, 2009, 03:29:23 PM »
Quote from: dmdaven2;16041
WHAT!?!? :burn: ARE YOU SERIOUS? These abductors should have NOOOOOOOO custody whatsoever when this is resolved...as a LBP i'll die before I SHARE custody with the mother of my child again...she and all other abductors have officially forfeit their rights by absconding with our children! :mad2:
Part of the problem is that abductors often make a rash decision, then continue to dig themselves into a deeper and deeper hole because they can't face losing custody completely. Yes, the parent made a horrible, selfish and criminal choice, but does that neccessarily mean that the child would be better with NO contact with this parent?

Offline SageDad

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #27 on: April 06, 2009, 04:03:44 PM »
Quote from: gail;16057
That's awful.  I thought you said her family knows what a liar she is, how can they be backing her?  I wouldn't sign a damn thing and I would continue as you are if this were me.  What a horrible and evil woman.  I'm sorry, but I hate this.  I'm sorry for all you are going through and I hope they give you your rights.


Oh.. they know she's lying, but sadly that hasn't translated into them supporting me in any meaningful way.  Up until now I think they've been hoping that I will give up, go away and take all my inconvenient truths with me.  I won't do that and I hope they realize that sooner rather than later.  To counter their effort at slandering me I created a Spanish page on Hi5 (like orkut, but hugely popular in Mexico.. link below) that contains detailed information about our story including emails she has sent, emails her friends have sent me, a detailed diary with more info than any English page I have, a pictorial and video history of our family and I have added nearly 2000 "friends" to my page from her city of about 150,000.  I regularly get comments and messages of support from people in her city including some distant relatives of hers.  I'm pretty sure they're mad at me now for publicly embarrassing them,  but if they hadn't avoided talking to me directly to hear my side of the story or gone out of their way to defame me I wouldn't have needed to make that page.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
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Offline SageDad

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #28 on: April 06, 2009, 04:09:19 PM »
Quote from: SteveW;16066
Part of the problem is that abductors often make a rash decision, then continue to dig themselves into a deeper and deeper hole because they can't face losing custody completely. Yes, the parent made a horrible, selfish and criminal choice, but does that neccessarily mean that the child would be better with NO contact with this parent?


This is very true.  If I can find a way to allow my son to have access to his mother, whom he has grown very attached to, I will, though it is not clear that such a way exists which does not carry a significant risk of re-abduction.  

Admittedly, I would love to never let her see our son again as compensation for her doing this to me, but my love for my son and what's best for him is much greater than my distaste for his mother.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi

Offline SageDad

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Re: Sage: Trip to Mexico - Closing Arguments
« Reply #29 on: April 06, 2009, 04:13:39 PM »
Quote from: tweinstein;16059
Mexico is a signatory to the Convention, though it has a very poor record of compliance. As for shared custody, the mother sounds crazy with all of her accusations.


As angry as the accusations make me they are very common during Hague proceedings.  The Taking Parent has put themselves into a position where the only way to justify their abduction is to paint the other parent as a terrible person.  Courts should expect these sorts of accusations and demand proof and, in most cases, they do.

David's case is particularly unique in this sense because not even Bruna accussed him of being a bad father or a bad person.
“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Rumi